Not been having any dreams the last few days, pretty wierd. But compared to the "nightmares" I was having just a month ago, I would say it's a welcome relief. Anyway, lack of dreams, mean a deeper and more restful sleep. Good, since I'm in the midst of the exams.
A dear Brother-in-Christ once told me a story of 2 young people. The girl was in her midteens and the guy was a year older. And they fell for each other after attending a concert together. But knowing that they had to put their studies first, the guy told the girl to "put their love into a container". And in several years time, if they still loved each other, to take it out of the container and savour it.
When I first heard the story, I laughed non-stop for over 10 minutes! Strangely, I somehow remembered this story again today, as well as another story. THE story from the book "Boy meets Girl". I won't go into details. But part of it is about dreams falling apart and crashing down.
Looking back at the story that was told by my friend, I now realise it's not that funny anymore. Though it seemed so childish and stupid at that time, I now see the deep maturity in that descision, a descision that was way beyond their years. And I thank them, for setting an example for me to follow.
I've seen dreams crash down before me many times. On a not-so-lonely night at Body Building Camp at Camp Christine in December 2001, at the Central Forum when the Pharmarceutical Society were having their bazzaar in September 2002, at the engin bridge on 24 February 2005... the list goes on.
The guy in "Boy meets Girl" had to literally bury his love in a container. He let go, and let God take control of his life again. A life to refocus, recollect and rededicate the time lost on silly things back to the Lord. And after many years, he saw his container opened and the spot where his dreams came crashing down, he saw them renewed again.
"Look up my son, and look at me
And the bloodstained Cross of Calvary
The Bride I died for is mine yet be
Like you, I am waiting, so be like me"
I wrote those words after really being inspired by the Holy Spirit one lonely night in November last year. Amidst a very confusing time in my life. Today, I looked at another peom, and I now I realise what the words mean; that they were not meant for me.
"Light of His blessings and waters of His will
Decides to transform us into a beautiful tale"
Now I get it. Those dreams were mine, selfishly mine. They were not the dreams that God wanted me to have. So I guess like the 2 young people I first talked about, I am going to have to put my dreams into a container and bury it somewhere. Perhaps, that is where it's meant to remain. But maybe, one day I will dig them out again and enjoy its contents. But only if the Lord leads.
Only death can give life. Jesus' death.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Where do we stand?
That's the question Joel asked on the BCE blog. I have no clue where I stand. I may possibly graduate in 5 days; I may go on for another year; who knows, God willing I may continue to masters? Or even further on?
Had a very long chat with Shaun this afternoon. And I feel exactly the way he feels; like a desert. And this 3 week old cough is not helping much. But this morning's sermon hit the nail on the head; persevere, count the blessings and above all that, the King still has one more move. One thing I know for sure is that God is always there. Even though sometimes, it gets very hard to worship Him. It get's hard to pray. It get's hard to feel the joy of salvation again. Yet, I will continue to sing His praise.
Lord, You seem so far way
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing, I will praise
Even in my darkest hour, through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing, I will praise
Lift my hands to honour you
Because Your Word is true, I will sing
Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans you have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
(C) Words and music by Don Moen
Had a very long chat with Shaun this afternoon. And I feel exactly the way he feels; like a desert. And this 3 week old cough is not helping much. But this morning's sermon hit the nail on the head; persevere, count the blessings and above all that, the King still has one more move. One thing I know for sure is that God is always there. Even though sometimes, it gets very hard to worship Him. It get's hard to pray. It get's hard to feel the joy of salvation again. Yet, I will continue to sing His praise.
Lord, You seem so far way
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing, I will praise
Even in my darkest hour, through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing, I will praise
Lift my hands to honour you
Because Your Word is true, I will sing
Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans you have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
(C) Words and music by Don Moen
Let us be One Voice...
How is it, that 2 people can think of the same song within the same week? How is it that they can look through the web in the same week and discover a missing verse to a song that we have sung a few times? I guess the answer is that God spoke.
I told myself that I would lead the following song the next time I lead worship. And what do you know? Isaac led it this morning. I'm sure God spoke to him too. This, in my honest opinion, is the best and most well-written of all the Planetshaker's song. It's all about Jesus, that's what worship is about.
It's all about Jesus
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the way He changed our lives
It's all about Jesus
The power of His blood can't be denied
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the covenant He made
It's all about Jesus
Victorious He rose up from the grave
We lift our hearts to Him
He is the reason that we sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We praies Your Name
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the way He set us free
It's all about Jesus
Bearing all our sins at Calvary
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the gift of love He gave
It all about Jesus
The precious Lamb of God was slain
(C) Words and music by Henry Seeley
I told myself that I would lead the following song the next time I lead worship. And what do you know? Isaac led it this morning. I'm sure God spoke to him too. This, in my honest opinion, is the best and most well-written of all the Planetshaker's song. It's all about Jesus, that's what worship is about.
It's all about Jesus
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the way He changed our lives
It's all about Jesus
The power of His blood can't be denied
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the covenant He made
It's all about Jesus
Victorious He rose up from the grave
We lift our hearts to Him
He is the reason that we sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We praies Your Name
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the way He set us free
It's all about Jesus
Bearing all our sins at Calvary
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the gift of love He gave
It all about Jesus
The precious Lamb of God was slain
(C) Words and music by Henry Seeley
Friday, April 22, 2005
MA4211: Functional Analysis
Had a much better day in the library today, maybe it was because I had some inspiration!! (hehe... I will leave that to all of your imagination!) Re-copied and paraphrased some of the proofs presented in the lecture notes.
I think those of you who have spoken to me will know that I am a pretty strong advocate of copying your own notes when it comes to mathematics. Yeah, when a lot of abstract and complicated proofs are presented, copying does help you think through what you are writing down and better understand that proof. That's why I am re-copying everything for this module. Just had a test on this module last Friday, it was ok. After the test was done, A/P Chew presented some possible solutions. And mine mostly fit his, so I guess I would do okay.
Functional Analysis; this was one module in which I did not touch a single tutorial question as I had no clue what was going on! To have scored a B+ for the first test was really God's amazing grace. But then, it was more becuase everyone did badly, rather than my own merit; I almost failed that test! Ironically, this is one module who name intimidated me the first time I looked through the maths prospectus in year one. I never considered taking it, until a friend told me it was one of the better modules, true enough it is.
It is the 4th analysis module that I am doing. It's interesting that most mathematics undergrads really hate analysis, me included, and while most do only 1 analysis module, I've taken 4! And I intend to take MA4266: Topology, next semester, which will make it 5!! Somehow have a knack for it. Don't know why.
Anyway, the module is about linear functionals, (functions whose codomain is the real number line and the function is linear, not straight line, but linear, ie f(ax +by) = af(x) + bf(y)) on Banach Spaces and Hilbert Spaces. And of course the main part of the course focuses on the 4 big theorems in Functional Analysis, Hahn-Banach, Closed-Graph, Open-Mapping and Banach-Steinhauss Theorems. Just revisted the proofs of most of those theorems today. Very interesting. It's good that this module is a "soft-analysis" module, so I can avoid episilon-delta like proofs during the exam.
Covered most of the module today. That's good. Still need to cover 2 more sections. Then I should be ok with this module. Will see how I fare when I study at home on Friday.
PS: Read something interesting just now on another blog. Maybe I will say something tomorrow.
I think those of you who have spoken to me will know that I am a pretty strong advocate of copying your own notes when it comes to mathematics. Yeah, when a lot of abstract and complicated proofs are presented, copying does help you think through what you are writing down and better understand that proof. That's why I am re-copying everything for this module. Just had a test on this module last Friday, it was ok. After the test was done, A/P Chew presented some possible solutions. And mine mostly fit his, so I guess I would do okay.
Functional Analysis; this was one module in which I did not touch a single tutorial question as I had no clue what was going on! To have scored a B+ for the first test was really God's amazing grace. But then, it was more becuase everyone did badly, rather than my own merit; I almost failed that test! Ironically, this is one module who name intimidated me the first time I looked through the maths prospectus in year one. I never considered taking it, until a friend told me it was one of the better modules, true enough it is.
It is the 4th analysis module that I am doing. It's interesting that most mathematics undergrads really hate analysis, me included, and while most do only 1 analysis module, I've taken 4! And I intend to take MA4266: Topology, next semester, which will make it 5!! Somehow have a knack for it. Don't know why.
Anyway, the module is about linear functionals, (functions whose codomain is the real number line and the function is linear, not straight line, but linear, ie f(ax +by) = af(x) + bf(y)) on Banach Spaces and Hilbert Spaces. And of course the main part of the course focuses on the 4 big theorems in Functional Analysis, Hahn-Banach, Closed-Graph, Open-Mapping and Banach-Steinhauss Theorems. Just revisted the proofs of most of those theorems today. Very interesting. It's good that this module is a "soft-analysis" module, so I can avoid episilon-delta like proofs during the exam.
Covered most of the module today. That's good. Still need to cover 2 more sections. Then I should be ok with this module. Will see how I fare when I study at home on Friday.
PS: Read something interesting just now on another blog. Maybe I will say something tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
MA3215: 3D Differential Geometry
Today was a really unproductive day. Only completed half the helpsheet. Went home early to sleep. Slept late last night, or rather early this morning.
Although its an interesting module, it's got too many calculations to be considered a pure mathematics module in my opinion. If I cannot get a graph theory honours project, this will defiantely be my next option. This module is one where I really see the power of mathematics being displayed. It brings all the different branches of mathematics together in a big way, modern algebra, calculus, linear algebra, geometry all come together in this module.
It's pretty interesting now, looking back on some of the lectures, when A/P Loke would say things like, "this is nothing deep going on here ah, just linear albegra, covered in MA2101." And you go, "yeah that's true." But now on hindsight, we were doing pretty advance linear algebra stuff, like finding eigenvectors and eigenvalues to solve problems in calculus!!! If that isn't deep then I wonder what is?!?
Interesting to note, John Nash also made significant contributions to this branch of mathematics, though most people will associate him with game theory, he actually made quite a lot of contributions to this branch of mathematics, topology etc. His Embedding theorem states, 2 real algebraic manifolds are equivalent if and only if they are analytically homeomorphic. I have no idea what that means!
Back to today, was unable to focus on anything man, so only did 2 chapters out of 4 for my helpsheet, then I came home to catch up on sleep. Only now, (at 1am) is my brain starting to wake up, I guess its going to be a long night.
EDIT: Just had to add this, was cracking my brain the whole day to see how I can relate this module to something remotely Biblical. (the fact is... I can't) So, let me try anyway, this may sounds blasphemous, so please don't stone me!
From what I've seen, one of the applications of Differntial Geometry, to higher dimensions, that is Algebraic Topology and Algebraic Geometry, that's when you start working on manifolds (n-dimension objects), is it's being applied to physics. In particular General Relativity. The Holy Grail of physics is said to be the TOE or Theory of Everything. When all the forces can be considered unified. I guess like the modern church, we see so many denominations. We now hear that the new Pope hopes to unite Chrisitians across the world. A grand idea. And wouldn't it be wonderful if all Christians really stood united?
The fact is, we already should be. No matter where you come from, the Gospel is one and the same. And that is the unifying factor. Then why are such a disparate group? Perhaps we've lost the sight of this Gospel that is supposed to bind us together. I once told a younger youth, it is one thing to know what the Gospel is about and another to fully understand its meaning. And once you understand, life is going to be drastically different for you.
(I will leave the differntial geometry out of this one, it's going to be abstract when I draw the relation.)
Although its an interesting module, it's got too many calculations to be considered a pure mathematics module in my opinion. If I cannot get a graph theory honours project, this will defiantely be my next option. This module is one where I really see the power of mathematics being displayed. It brings all the different branches of mathematics together in a big way, modern algebra, calculus, linear algebra, geometry all come together in this module.
It's pretty interesting now, looking back on some of the lectures, when A/P Loke would say things like, "this is nothing deep going on here ah, just linear albegra, covered in MA2101." And you go, "yeah that's true." But now on hindsight, we were doing pretty advance linear algebra stuff, like finding eigenvectors and eigenvalues to solve problems in calculus!!! If that isn't deep then I wonder what is?!?
Interesting to note, John Nash also made significant contributions to this branch of mathematics, though most people will associate him with game theory, he actually made quite a lot of contributions to this branch of mathematics, topology etc. His Embedding theorem states, 2 real algebraic manifolds are equivalent if and only if they are analytically homeomorphic. I have no idea what that means!
Back to today, was unable to focus on anything man, so only did 2 chapters out of 4 for my helpsheet, then I came home to catch up on sleep. Only now, (at 1am) is my brain starting to wake up, I guess its going to be a long night.
EDIT: Just had to add this, was cracking my brain the whole day to see how I can relate this module to something remotely Biblical. (the fact is... I can't) So, let me try anyway, this may sounds blasphemous, so please don't stone me!
From what I've seen, one of the applications of Differntial Geometry, to higher dimensions, that is Algebraic Topology and Algebraic Geometry, that's when you start working on manifolds (n-dimension objects), is it's being applied to physics. In particular General Relativity. The Holy Grail of physics is said to be the TOE or Theory of Everything. When all the forces can be considered unified. I guess like the modern church, we see so many denominations. We now hear that the new Pope hopes to unite Chrisitians across the world. A grand idea. And wouldn't it be wonderful if all Christians really stood united?
The fact is, we already should be. No matter where you come from, the Gospel is one and the same. And that is the unifying factor. Then why are such a disparate group? Perhaps we've lost the sight of this Gospel that is supposed to bind us together. I once told a younger youth, it is one thing to know what the Gospel is about and another to fully understand its meaning. And once you understand, life is going to be drastically different for you.
(I will leave the differntial geometry out of this one, it's going to be abstract when I draw the relation.)
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
MA4264: Game Theory
Most people would say modules on game theory will show you how it's applied in modern economics... unless you take it in the department of mathematics, NUS. :(
This module was more like getting into the mind of John Nash, and after taking it, you really know why he went nuts!!!
Today was a pretty unproductive day, besides waking up late and missing a macdonalds breakfast (I had to contend with bread at home), I could hardly seem to get my brain working, unlike yesterday. I guess because its a math module and not an econs one, all the concepts are simply reduced to numbers and symbols. And so the intuitive feeling behind what is going on is reduced to logic and reasoning. No wonder John Nash went crazy. Well, stayed back after sunset prayer to continue sutdying with Gloria and some others at YIH. At least I managed to finish part of my help sheet, the definitions and statement of theorems etc. I really hate it when we need to write helpsheets. Yes, it may be a good form of revision in itself, but it's really troublesome. Got 2 to write this semester.
Not suprisingly, one of my favourite movies is "A Beautiful Mind". A rough biography on the life of John Nash. The part that strikes out is the following part of the movie, when John Nash goes up to make his accpetance speech for his nobel prize.
"I've always believed in numbers and the equations and logics that lead to reason. But after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask myself, 'What truly is logic? Who decides reason?' My quest has taken me to through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional - and back. And I have made the most important discovery of my career. the most important discovery of my life:It is only in the mysterious equations of LOVE that any logic or reason can be found. You are the reason I am, You are all my reasons." (paraphrased)
Unfortunately, John Nash never made such a quote in real life. But it's a nice quote, espeically to me. Logic, reason, numbers, equtions are all cornerstones of mathematics. But when all is said and done, as a Christian, I have to remember that it's all about Jesus. The Lord of love.
Indeed it is mystery why Jesus would choose to die a criminal's death for sinners like you and me. What's the logic and reason behind that? Unconditional love.
PS: Watch for tomorrow when I tackle a really funky sounding module, Three-Dimensional Differntial Geometry!!!
This module was more like getting into the mind of John Nash, and after taking it, you really know why he went nuts!!!
Today was a pretty unproductive day, besides waking up late and missing a macdonalds breakfast (I had to contend with bread at home), I could hardly seem to get my brain working, unlike yesterday. I guess because its a math module and not an econs one, all the concepts are simply reduced to numbers and symbols. And so the intuitive feeling behind what is going on is reduced to logic and reasoning. No wonder John Nash went crazy. Well, stayed back after sunset prayer to continue sutdying with Gloria and some others at YIH. At least I managed to finish part of my help sheet, the definitions and statement of theorems etc. I really hate it when we need to write helpsheets. Yes, it may be a good form of revision in itself, but it's really troublesome. Got 2 to write this semester.
Not suprisingly, one of my favourite movies is "A Beautiful Mind". A rough biography on the life of John Nash. The part that strikes out is the following part of the movie, when John Nash goes up to make his accpetance speech for his nobel prize.
"I've always believed in numbers and the equations and logics that lead to reason. But after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask myself, 'What truly is logic? Who decides reason?' My quest has taken me to through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional - and back. And I have made the most important discovery of my career. the most important discovery of my life:It is only in the mysterious equations of LOVE that any logic or reason can be found. You are the reason I am, You are all my reasons." (paraphrased)
Unfortunately, John Nash never made such a quote in real life. But it's a nice quote, espeically to me. Logic, reason, numbers, equtions are all cornerstones of mathematics. But when all is said and done, as a Christian, I have to remember that it's all about Jesus. The Lord of love.
Indeed it is mystery why Jesus would choose to die a criminal's death for sinners like you and me. What's the logic and reason behind that? Unconditional love.
PS: Watch for tomorrow when I tackle a really funky sounding module, Three-Dimensional Differntial Geometry!!!
MA4262: Lebesgue Integration
Hell week has begun. A final burst of nerdism before the exams. Possibly my last exam; but probably not. 4 modules, and I've set aside 4 days this week, one day for each module. Decided to blog a bit each day, to really bore you peeps with a series of completely nerd posts.
Mathematicians solve problems, if there are no problems, we'll create one
I guess this module really epitomizes that statement. Shaun, if you think integration at secondary school level is fun, well, like I said, you are just scratching the surface.
I guess the name of this module is a little deceiving, it's not completely about integration as some people think, but its more on the Theory of Lebesgue Measure and it's applications to integration, differentiation and the Banach Space, Lp.
It's an interesting module, not as dry as some other analysis modules I've taken. But it's super crazy man... understanding the proofs take a monster effort. But I guess the approach Lebesgue took to integration is a very interesting one, and the Lebesgue integral is certainly a lot more powerful than the standard Riemann Integral. Unfortuantely, it's notoriously difficult to define. And there is a more powerful integral available now, the Henstock Integral. Maybe I should try do an honours project on it. Sounds like fun!!!
I guess, the approach I took to studying this module was a little flawed in the first few weeks of studying it, I thought it was a "soft-analysis" module, so I could avoid the tedious epsilon-delta type proofs and look for nice elegant proofs. I am so wrong.
The whole module is about convergence and approximation theorems. And once that comes into play, well, say hello to epsilon, delta, and sometimes even eta.
Looking at life, maybe there is a parallel. We always try take short cuts don't we? Instead of taking the long tedious way, we look for the path of least resistance. Sometimes it works, but sometimes, we end up backtracking and having take an even longer route.
Convergence to God. Wrote about that once. Life should like a convergent series, converging to God. Initially, hardly anyone starts out being or wanting to be close to God. Time is like n as it tends to infinity, as time goes on, our life, our patterns should follow that of Christ. Convergence.
Mathematicians solve problems, if there are no problems, we'll create one
I guess this module really epitomizes that statement. Shaun, if you think integration at secondary school level is fun, well, like I said, you are just scratching the surface.
I guess the name of this module is a little deceiving, it's not completely about integration as some people think, but its more on the Theory of Lebesgue Measure and it's applications to integration, differentiation and the Banach Space, Lp.
It's an interesting module, not as dry as some other analysis modules I've taken. But it's super crazy man... understanding the proofs take a monster effort. But I guess the approach Lebesgue took to integration is a very interesting one, and the Lebesgue integral is certainly a lot more powerful than the standard Riemann Integral. Unfortuantely, it's notoriously difficult to define. And there is a more powerful integral available now, the Henstock Integral. Maybe I should try do an honours project on it. Sounds like fun!!!
I guess, the approach I took to studying this module was a little flawed in the first few weeks of studying it, I thought it was a "soft-analysis" module, so I could avoid the tedious epsilon-delta type proofs and look for nice elegant proofs. I am so wrong.
The whole module is about convergence and approximation theorems. And once that comes into play, well, say hello to epsilon, delta, and sometimes even eta.
Looking at life, maybe there is a parallel. We always try take short cuts don't we? Instead of taking the long tedious way, we look for the path of least resistance. Sometimes it works, but sometimes, we end up backtracking and having take an even longer route.
Convergence to God. Wrote about that once. Life should like a convergent series, converging to God. Initially, hardly anyone starts out being or wanting to be close to God. Time is like n as it tends to infinity, as time goes on, our life, our patterns should follow that of Christ. Convergence.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
If you thought...
...that the mandarin version of "King of Majesty" was cool... check this one out!!!
我 屈 膝 在 你 的 脚 前
你 是 我 一 切 所 需
我 转 向 你 而 你 就 在 身 边
在 患 难 中 我 寻 求 你
你 是 我 全 心 所 求
我 要 一 生 顺 服, 献 给你
One Way, 耶 稣
你 是 唯 一 我 愿 为 你 而 活
One Way, 耶 稣
你 是 唯 一 我 愿 为 你 而 活
你 从 来 不 曾 走 远
每 时 刻 在 我 身 边
你 恩 典 深 深 充 满 在 我 心
你 从 来 不 曾 改 变
昨 日 今 日 到 永 远
我 要 与 你 同 行 直 到 终 点
主 你 是 道路 真 理 生 命
不 凭 眼 见 凭 信 而 活 为 你
我 活 着 只 为 你
By the way, there is a Japanese version as well! Available on the latest United CD. The trick is finding it!
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Journey...
the original lyrics...
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
A roar of thuderous applause, begins with a single clap
A single plunge can take us to unimagined depths
A single tornado can result from a single flap
The single word we dare not face is simply, perhaps
The possibilities are endless
The countless thoughts relentless
Though all these may seem senseless
They are simply all our choices
Two paths diverge in the middle of the road
Travelers bearing choice as a common load
The path not traveled will never be unknown
We'll simply read what we have sown
Perhaps we'll never know the day after tomorrow
Perhaps we'll always look back in sorrow
Perhaps we could in painful regret wallow
Perhapds we'll find regret is simply hollow
But we can never from yesterday borrow
Perhaps she is the one
Perhaps I'll be number one
Perhaps one day I'll be happy
Perhaps one day I'll be merry
Perhaps one day he'll make me happy
Perhaps one day there'll be no perhaps
Perhaps we'll never know the day after tomorrow
Perhaps we'll always look back in sorrow
Perhaps we could in painful regret wallow
Perhapds we'll find regret is simply hollow
But we can never from yesterday borrow
Words by Gabriel Koh
Music by Lin Junwen
Yes, that was how the original first verse went. It was one whole verse before it was split into two smaller verses. (comments enabled)
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
A roar of thuderous applause, begins with a single clap
A single plunge can take us to unimagined depths
A single tornado can result from a single flap
The single word we dare not face is simply, perhaps
The possibilities are endless
The countless thoughts relentless
Though all these may seem senseless
They are simply all our choices
Two paths diverge in the middle of the road
Travelers bearing choice as a common load
The path not traveled will never be unknown
We'll simply read what we have sown
Perhaps we'll never know the day after tomorrow
Perhaps we'll always look back in sorrow
Perhaps we could in painful regret wallow
Perhapds we'll find regret is simply hollow
But we can never from yesterday borrow
Perhaps she is the one
Perhaps I'll be number one
Perhaps one day I'll be happy
Perhaps one day I'll be merry
Perhaps one day he'll make me happy
Perhaps one day there'll be no perhaps
Perhaps we'll never know the day after tomorrow
Perhaps we'll always look back in sorrow
Perhaps we could in painful regret wallow
Perhapds we'll find regret is simply hollow
But we can never from yesterday borrow
Words by Gabriel Koh
Music by Lin Junwen
Yes, that was how the original first verse went. It was one whole verse before it was split into two smaller verses. (comments enabled)
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Practice this week...
There will be practice this week, at 6.30pm. Please be reminded that it will be in the Sanctuary, since the Mandarin ministry will still be using Aldersgate Hall for a few more weeks.
We will be having a new worship leader this week, that's Daryl! He will co-lead with me.
This week is the 3rd Saturday, so there will be Bible Study. I will be continuing the series on the Beattitudes. All are welcome.
We will be having a new worship leader this week, that's Daryl! He will co-lead with me.
This week is the 3rd Saturday, so there will be Bible Study. I will be continuing the series on the Beattitudes. All are welcome.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Random Quotes...
Meaningless post, highlight, if you want to read.
Like Ber, I can't seem to study, but unlike him, I'm not going to do quizes. (Yes, unbelievable as it sounds, Ber updated!!) Some random stuff...
"Mathematicians have no life" - Dr Tan Kai Meng, Valentine's Day 2004. To a bunch of mathematicians wannabes who were at a 12noon Saturday Lecture.
"Keep cool and calm!!" - Prof Koh Khee Meng, at every other lecture.
"To me, probability and statistics is the same thing" - A/P To Wing Keung, on his obvious lack of knowledge on probability and statistics.
"Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes." - Mickey Mouse
"Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics." - Simeon Poisson
"Do or do not, there is no try." - Yoda. Yup, must try to get my study regime started. There's MA4211 Funcitonal Analysis test on friday... *bleah*
"The best way to get over it is to move on right?" - Kelvin Tan
"This is not going to be shown during FT right?" - choosing to remain anonymous
Like Ber, I can't seem to study, but unlike him, I'm not going to do quizes. (Yes, unbelievable as it sounds, Ber updated!!) Some random stuff...
"Mathematicians have no life" - Dr Tan Kai Meng, Valentine's Day 2004. To a bunch of mathematicians wannabes who were at a 12noon Saturday Lecture.
"Keep cool and calm!!" - Prof Koh Khee Meng, at every other lecture.
"To me, probability and statistics is the same thing" - A/P To Wing Keung, on his obvious lack of knowledge on probability and statistics.
"Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes." - Mickey Mouse
"Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics." - Simeon Poisson
"Do or do not, there is no try." - Yoda. Yup, must try to get my study regime started. There's MA4211 Funcitonal Analysis test on friday... *bleah*
"The best way to get over it is to move on right?" - Kelvin Tan
"This is not going to be shown during FT right?" - choosing to remain anonymous
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
A call for unity
As you all can see, there have been some minor, but important, layout changes. To better reflect what this blog is about.
I guess over time, this blog is being read more and more by the VCFers rather than the PMC Youth, to call it a PMC Youth Worship Team blog is getting a bit wierd. And in more circles, its getting to be known as "Marcus' blog" rather than the One Voice Blog. Well, go with the flow.
I've removed the words "Pentecost Methodist Church Youth Worship Team" and replaced it with the words of Jesus. In John 17, Jesus makes a very powerful and important prayer. And that particular section above is His prayer for us believers, a prayer for unity, so that through this unity, God will be glorified and the world will come to believe.
I've also removed the Team Verse from the footer, and replaced it with the words of the song, One Voice. A call for unity.
The number 1, has a speical place in mathematics. (It my blog after all right??? And I've not had a maths-like post for a while). In Abstract Algebra, the symbol 1 refers to the multiplicative identity in Rings (and Fields, since fields are rings). And simply as the identity in Groups.
In number theory, the 1 is sometimes refered to as "unity". In complex analysis, the nth-roots (eg squareroot, cuberoot and higher) of the complex number 1 are called the nth roots of unity.
In that case, the term "One Voice", is simply the call to unite our voices and declare the Gospel of Jesus to the world. That was Jesus' prayer.
I guess over time, this blog is being read more and more by the VCFers rather than the PMC Youth, to call it a PMC Youth Worship Team blog is getting a bit wierd. And in more circles, its getting to be known as "Marcus' blog" rather than the One Voice Blog. Well, go with the flow.
I've removed the words "Pentecost Methodist Church Youth Worship Team" and replaced it with the words of Jesus. In John 17, Jesus makes a very powerful and important prayer. And that particular section above is His prayer for us believers, a prayer for unity, so that through this unity, God will be glorified and the world will come to believe.
I've also removed the Team Verse from the footer, and replaced it with the words of the song, One Voice. A call for unity.
The number 1, has a speical place in mathematics. (It my blog after all right??? And I've not had a maths-like post for a while). In Abstract Algebra, the symbol 1 refers to the multiplicative identity in Rings (and Fields, since fields are rings). And simply as the identity in Groups.
In number theory, the 1 is sometimes refered to as "unity". In complex analysis, the nth-roots (eg squareroot, cuberoot and higher) of the complex number 1 are called the nth roots of unity.
In that case, the term "One Voice", is simply the call to unite our voices and declare the Gospel of Jesus to the world. That was Jesus' prayer.
Jesus, loves me this I know
If you guys are wondering what my good friend Kelvin Tan is saying on the tagboard, I've removed that particular post. Will post it up again, maybe, some other time. :)
Just want to share this simple song, written a really long time ago. Originally as a poem. Simple in meaning, and easy to grasp, just sing it, when you are feeling down, and see the truth in it. I've managed to find all the verses, even those not commonly found in hymnals.
Jesus loves me this I know
Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Jesus loves me this I know
As He loved so long ago
Taking children on His knee
Saying, "Let them come to me!"
Jesus loves me still today
Walking with me on my way
Wanting as a friend to give
Light and love to all who live
Jesus loves me! Loves me still
Though I'm very weak and ill
That I might from sin be free
Bled and died upon that tree
Jesus loves me! He who died
Heaven's gate to open wide
He will wash away my sins
Let His little child come in
Jesus love me! He wil stay
Close beside me all the way
Thou hast bled and died for me
I will henceforth live for Thee
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so
I think as a leader, I always complicated matters. Doesn't help that I study a very complicated subject. But I think as Christians, we also complicate matters. But our faith is simple to grasp.
Jesus loves us. He bled and died for us. And He rose from the grave, and one day, He will come back to rule!
That's the simple truth of it all.
Just want to share this simple song, written a really long time ago. Originally as a poem. Simple in meaning, and easy to grasp, just sing it, when you are feeling down, and see the truth in it. I've managed to find all the verses, even those not commonly found in hymnals.
Jesus loves me this I know
Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Jesus loves me this I know
As He loved so long ago
Taking children on His knee
Saying, "Let them come to me!"
Jesus loves me still today
Walking with me on my way
Wanting as a friend to give
Light and love to all who live
Jesus loves me! Loves me still
Though I'm very weak and ill
That I might from sin be free
Bled and died upon that tree
Jesus loves me! He who died
Heaven's gate to open wide
He will wash away my sins
Let His little child come in
Jesus love me! He wil stay
Close beside me all the way
Thou hast bled and died for me
I will henceforth live for Thee
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so
I think as a leader, I always complicated matters. Doesn't help that I study a very complicated subject. But I think as Christians, we also complicate matters. But our faith is simple to grasp.
Jesus loves us. He bled and died for us. And He rose from the grave, and one day, He will come back to rule!
That's the simple truth of it all.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Choose
What am I going to do
After graduating
I think it gets a bit frustrating
Because they say
All for the money thats the route
Does greed really pay?
Isn't it the root?
Maybe satisfaction is the key
Something fine, something fun
But is it all about me
When it's all said and done
What about making life count?
What about leaving a print?
Something precious to recount
From life's short stint
But I guess I'll choose the lucre after all
How can we resist the world's siren call
Word by Joshua Sng
Music by Mark Szto
Been very depressed the last few days. And this song is really about how I feel at the moment. I'm sick, I lost my voice, I have a seriously bad cough and my results this sem, well, they suck quite badly. Failed a math test this semester, that's the 3rd time in my life that I've failed a math test. And it is really frightening to think that in 18 days time, I will graduate. This life is just passing by too fast.
After graduating
I think it gets a bit frustrating
Because they say
All for the money thats the route
Does greed really pay?
Isn't it the root?
Maybe satisfaction is the key
Something fine, something fun
But is it all about me
When it's all said and done
What about making life count?
What about leaving a print?
Something precious to recount
From life's short stint
But I guess I'll choose the lucre after all
How can we resist the world's siren call
Word by Joshua Sng
Music by Mark Szto
Been very depressed the last few days. And this song is really about how I feel at the moment. I'm sick, I lost my voice, I have a seriously bad cough and my results this sem, well, they suck quite badly. Failed a math test this semester, that's the 3rd time in my life that I've failed a math test. And it is really frightening to think that in 18 days time, I will graduate. This life is just passing by too fast.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Is it finished?
Spun. Fallen.
Seems like the main part of this BCE project has come to an end. But is it really over? The appreciation barbeque was yesterday, at Amber Park.
It brought back so many memories on so many different levels. From seeing the DVD video of the musical, it reminded me of the crazy semester so far. From staying back almost everyday in January to compose songs at TH, to the rehearsals at engineering bridge and SJSM and finally to the performances.
It has been a long journey. At times overwhelming, many times, heartbreaking, and other times, it has brought relief to my very worn out soul. But above all, I’ve seen what prayer and the power of God can do! HE IS ALIVE!
The BBQ also brought back memories of my childhood. Standing at the BBQ pit seemed so familiar. It was like being at home, yet not quite. Everything looks so much smaller than it was 11 years ago when I left that place.
It was really great meeting the some of the old cycling gang; and reminiscing about the stupid things we did, like digging sand-traps, throwing water-bombs off the 17th floor, racing the school buses and the super soaker fights!And it’s unbelievable that after 14 years, Hongren can still remember that thing between me and Min Yin… gosh… so scandalous. Well, I really wonder where she is now.
Well, all this will fade into history and memory. The musical did bring VCFers from all over together. And 2 were added to the Kingdom that night! But when all is said and done, there is just one thing that matters, and that is Jesus died for us.
IT IS FINISHED. That what Jesus said on the cross. The war has been won, if you turn to back of the Bible, we know the outcome, WE WIN! But there are battles to fight still.
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” – 2 Tim 4:7
Well, the race is far from over... but I know the outcome already!
When it should have been me
A shadow loomed against the hill
The shadow of a cross
A frame against the setting sun
A place called Calvary
A man was nailed onto that tree
Blood flowing from His wounds
A crown of thorns around His head
He hung in agony
And I know He gave up His life
In selfless sacrifice
To save a sinner who was lost
Deceived by satan’s lies
The shame, the wounds, the pain He bore
So I from sin am free
He was the one upon that Cross
When it should have been me
His name was Jesus Christ the Lord
He was the Son of God
A blameless, sinless He led
Yet why that cruel death?
The Jews, the scribes, the Pharisees
The Roman soldiers too
They mocked, they laughed and taunted Him
Until His final breath
Wrapped up and buried in a tomb
It seemed to be the end
But He was raised up from the grave
And now He lives again
He said if I believe in Him
I’d live forevermore
He offers me His righteousness
A gift for me to claim
The gates of hell were open wide
Waiting for me to enter in
But Jesus found a way to save my soul
A way to bring me back to Him
And I know He gave up His life
In selfless sacrifice
To save a sinner who was lost
Deceived by satan’s lies
The shame, the wounds, the pain He bore
So I from sin am free
He was the one upon that Cross
When it should have been me
O Lord, You went up on that Cross
When it should have been me
© Words and music by Ang Ruiyi
Seems like the main part of this BCE project has come to an end. But is it really over? The appreciation barbeque was yesterday, at Amber Park.
It brought back so many memories on so many different levels. From seeing the DVD video of the musical, it reminded me of the crazy semester so far. From staying back almost everyday in January to compose songs at TH, to the rehearsals at engineering bridge and SJSM and finally to the performances.
It has been a long journey. At times overwhelming, many times, heartbreaking, and other times, it has brought relief to my very worn out soul. But above all, I’ve seen what prayer and the power of God can do! HE IS ALIVE!
The BBQ also brought back memories of my childhood. Standing at the BBQ pit seemed so familiar. It was like being at home, yet not quite. Everything looks so much smaller than it was 11 years ago when I left that place.
It was really great meeting the some of the old cycling gang; and reminiscing about the stupid things we did, like digging sand-traps, throwing water-bombs off the 17th floor, racing the school buses and the super soaker fights!And it’s unbelievable that after 14 years, Hongren can still remember that thing between me and Min Yin… gosh… so scandalous. Well, I really wonder where she is now.
Well, all this will fade into history and memory. The musical did bring VCFers from all over together. And 2 were added to the Kingdom that night! But when all is said and done, there is just one thing that matters, and that is Jesus died for us.
IT IS FINISHED. That what Jesus said on the cross. The war has been won, if you turn to back of the Bible, we know the outcome, WE WIN! But there are battles to fight still.
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” – 2 Tim 4:7
Well, the race is far from over... but I know the outcome already!
When it should have been me
A shadow loomed against the hill
The shadow of a cross
A frame against the setting sun
A place called Calvary
A man was nailed onto that tree
Blood flowing from His wounds
A crown of thorns around His head
He hung in agony
And I know He gave up His life
In selfless sacrifice
To save a sinner who was lost
Deceived by satan’s lies
The shame, the wounds, the pain He bore
So I from sin am free
He was the one upon that Cross
When it should have been me
His name was Jesus Christ the Lord
He was the Son of God
A blameless, sinless He led
Yet why that cruel death?
The Jews, the scribes, the Pharisees
The Roman soldiers too
They mocked, they laughed and taunted Him
Until His final breath
Wrapped up and buried in a tomb
It seemed to be the end
But He was raised up from the grave
And now He lives again
He said if I believe in Him
I’d live forevermore
He offers me His righteousness
A gift for me to claim
The gates of hell were open wide
Waiting for me to enter in
But Jesus found a way to save my soul
A way to bring me back to Him
And I know He gave up His life
In selfless sacrifice
To save a sinner who was lost
Deceived by satan’s lies
The shame, the wounds, the pain He bore
So I from sin am free
He was the one upon that Cross
When it should have been me
O Lord, You went up on that Cross
When it should have been me
© Words and music by Ang Ruiyi
Thursday, March 31, 2005
All for love...
Was watching the "United - Look to You" behind the scenes video and there was this clip of Joel Houston where he said something like, "At what point do you start relying on your own strength because you take what God has given and His grace for granted? And at what point do you come to realised that you have to rely on God?"
Those words struck me hard. And as I watched the rest of the video, I realised that their new album nearly did not happen, the usual band was all over the world, rehearsals were pretty much last minute and new songs were coming in all the way to the eleventh hour.
It immediately brought back memories of the VCF musical. The similarities were too striking. But I guess at some point, in our burnt out state, we started to realise that we needed to lean on God for strength and surrender our skills to Him.
The past 3 months have been one of the longest and tiring in my life. But life still goes on. And now, after basically neglecting the Youth Ministry for the past few months, it's time to come back and take a larger role in it again.
One Voice is longer the same team it was, reduced to half it size in last few months, there is no hiding the fact that something new needs to be done. But the time for recruitment has not yet come.
As a worship team, the biggest struggle we face is pride; pride in our own abilities, pride in our own skills. At what point did we start relying on our own strength and take God's grace for granted?
At what point will we realise that the only way to move on is to drop, fall and decend into humility and let God take control. At that point, we will realise something, that we can go further than we were before.
It starts with us, coming to realise the cost He paid for us on the Cross. That was an act of humility and love. For us, so that we may follow Him. Every Sunday, when we lead the youth in worship, we must be hollow, so that the love of Christ can shine through us, and not be stopped by us.
All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For Love was crucified
All for love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw Man to You
(C) Words by Mia Fieldes
Those words struck me hard. And as I watched the rest of the video, I realised that their new album nearly did not happen, the usual band was all over the world, rehearsals were pretty much last minute and new songs were coming in all the way to the eleventh hour.
It immediately brought back memories of the VCF musical. The similarities were too striking. But I guess at some point, in our burnt out state, we started to realise that we needed to lean on God for strength and surrender our skills to Him.
The past 3 months have been one of the longest and tiring in my life. But life still goes on. And now, after basically neglecting the Youth Ministry for the past few months, it's time to come back and take a larger role in it again.
One Voice is longer the same team it was, reduced to half it size in last few months, there is no hiding the fact that something new needs to be done. But the time for recruitment has not yet come.
As a worship team, the biggest struggle we face is pride; pride in our own abilities, pride in our own skills. At what point did we start relying on our own strength and take God's grace for granted?
At what point will we realise that the only way to move on is to drop, fall and decend into humility and let God take control. At that point, we will realise something, that we can go further than we were before.
It starts with us, coming to realise the cost He paid for us on the Cross. That was an act of humility and love. For us, so that we may follow Him. Every Sunday, when we lead the youth in worship, we must be hollow, so that the love of Christ can shine through us, and not be stopped by us.
All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For Love was crucified
All for love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw Man to You
(C) Words by Mia Fieldes
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I can't believe...
... you're part of the past...
Hard to imagine that Falling Spinning was exactly a week ago. I guess the musical spoke to each of the individual cast members and musicians in their own ways. Somehow each one was able to identify with a certain character or song.
Personally, at times, I felt like Leah, out of love even cheated by love. At other times, like Mia, chasing grades, chasing a hope of getting into the honours class. But the character I could identify most is probably Ethan. Struggling to make sense in this world of nonsense.
But today, I was force to confront death, the same way all the characters had to deal with the death of Jude. Life is indeed short and fleeting and what you never treasured before may disappear before you even know it.
Just found out that my JC maths teacher passed away last week from cancer. It was a huge shock to me. He was only 54. He was a good teacher, and of course, an influence into what I am doing now.
His lagacy has been passed on, I'm sure. He authored many of the textbooks that about 90% of Singapore schools use. And like me, I am sure many of his former students are going to be teachers. Or already are.
But he died without the covering of Jesus' blood. I will never see him again. That's sad. I heard that a few students cried when they saw the state of his body, ravaged by cancer. Tough. Hard to imagine that he was still fit and strong 7 years ago.
This is death cold and chilling
No escape for all still living
Hard to imagine that Falling Spinning was exactly a week ago. I guess the musical spoke to each of the individual cast members and musicians in their own ways. Somehow each one was able to identify with a certain character or song.
Personally, at times, I felt like Leah, out of love even cheated by love. At other times, like Mia, chasing grades, chasing a hope of getting into the honours class. But the character I could identify most is probably Ethan. Struggling to make sense in this world of nonsense.
But today, I was force to confront death, the same way all the characters had to deal with the death of Jude. Life is indeed short and fleeting and what you never treasured before may disappear before you even know it.
Just found out that my JC maths teacher passed away last week from cancer. It was a huge shock to me. He was only 54. He was a good teacher, and of course, an influence into what I am doing now.
His lagacy has been passed on, I'm sure. He authored many of the textbooks that about 90% of Singapore schools use. And like me, I am sure many of his former students are going to be teachers. Or already are.
But he died without the covering of Jesus' blood. I will never see him again. That's sad. I heard that a few students cried when they saw the state of his body, ravaged by cancer. Tough. Hard to imagine that he was still fit and strong 7 years ago.
This is death cold and chilling
No escape for all still living
Friday, March 18, 2005
No fate but what we make???
This is a post that should probably be in my personal journal or something. But I will put it here for keepsake.
It seems like wherever I go, the theme verse of the musical keeps coming back. Whether at the engin bridge, or in church or even at Synerg!z, the message is still the same. We need to die to our self, so new life; eternal life, can spring forth.
Just got home from Pasir Ris. Felt like déjà vu. It was only last semester, when making a detour home from school to Pasir Ris was the norm. Guess some things are just not meant to be anymore.
Was looking through my Bible, and I noticed some hand-notes scribbled into the margin. One read, “There are many things that need interpretation, but more than that, things need obedience.”
How apt that one of the speaker sessions today was on obedience. Honestly, I cannot remember one-quarter of what was said today, but what matters is what God said to me! But that is a little to private to put up here.
“The next step in your destiny WILL include something you don’t want to do.”
A few weeks ago, I had to do something I did not want to do. It hurt badly to give it up. And surrendering to God’s will was a difficult decision to make. But I had to give it up slowly in the end. Today, the tears just flowed; and God’s voice was loud and clear.
I finally took the picture of the VCF music min away from my bedside table. The one taken at the Arts musical, “No greater Love”, 2 years ago. Let go, move on.
In its place is the picture of the Youth Ministry, a shot taken by Alvin at GAP Camp. One that he gave me for Christmas. Letting go, moving on.
That is the price for obedience, pain and suffering. That was the price Jesus paid in obedience to the Father. The pain and suffering of scourging and crucifixion for the sins of the world; for my sins.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” – John 3:16
The following song has comforted and ministered to me every time it is being sung during musical rehearsal.
How deep the Father’s love for us.
How deep the Father’s love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds that mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that “it is finished”
I will not boast in anything
No gifts no power no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His Reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.
It seems like wherever I go, the theme verse of the musical keeps coming back. Whether at the engin bridge, or in church or even at Synerg!z, the message is still the same. We need to die to our self, so new life; eternal life, can spring forth.
Just got home from Pasir Ris. Felt like déjà vu. It was only last semester, when making a detour home from school to Pasir Ris was the norm. Guess some things are just not meant to be anymore.
Was looking through my Bible, and I noticed some hand-notes scribbled into the margin. One read, “There are many things that need interpretation, but more than that, things need obedience.”
How apt that one of the speaker sessions today was on obedience. Honestly, I cannot remember one-quarter of what was said today, but what matters is what God said to me! But that is a little to private to put up here.
“The next step in your destiny WILL include something you don’t want to do.”
A few weeks ago, I had to do something I did not want to do. It hurt badly to give it up. And surrendering to God’s will was a difficult decision to make. But I had to give it up slowly in the end. Today, the tears just flowed; and God’s voice was loud and clear.
I finally took the picture of the VCF music min away from my bedside table. The one taken at the Arts musical, “No greater Love”, 2 years ago. Let go, move on.
In its place is the picture of the Youth Ministry, a shot taken by Alvin at GAP Camp. One that he gave me for Christmas. Letting go, moving on.
That is the price for obedience, pain and suffering. That was the price Jesus paid in obedience to the Father. The pain and suffering of scourging and crucifixion for the sins of the world; for my sins.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” – John 3:16
The following song has comforted and ministered to me every time it is being sung during musical rehearsal.
How deep the Father’s love for us.
How deep the Father’s love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds that mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that “it is finished”
I will not boast in anything
No gifts no power no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His Reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
No practice
There will not be practice this week... due to Synerg!z.
But, there will be practice next week, details out soon.
WHO HAS MY SYNERG!Z 2004 CD??????? Please pass it to the next person!
But, there will be practice next week, details out soon.
WHO HAS MY SYNERG!Z 2004 CD??????? Please pass it to the next person!
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Thursday, March 10, 2005
A long goodbye...
I guess it's the point
Where I'll bid thee farewell
I guess now's the time
To take leave of the spell
So long to love and hope
So long to fairy tale
Go now these transient dreams
Fall now these blinding scales
Today's the day
I think I'll turn the other way
I've had my cry
Now I will say a long goodbye
Before the pain subsides
Before the memory beckons
After death has shaken
All is changed in a second
I'll part with innocence
So goes Eden's array
I'll make my exit here
From this world of dismay
No more delay
I think I liked the other way
I've had my cry
Now I will say a long goodbye
Thank You
You were the one
You helped me see
You always did
Now the romance is over
And the damage is done
No more movies
It's frightening
Reality has just begun
But am I free
Lifted off this debris?
True love's a fallacy
The end is nigh
Just just give a sigh
I will say my long goodbye
Words by Joshua Sng
Music by Mark Szto
I altered the lyrics of the original song, which was a duet, I guess to make it a better reflection of how I really feel now. The bitterness has subsided I guess. But the pain still remains; the wounds have yet to heal completely. But life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone...
Where I'll bid thee farewell
I guess now's the time
To take leave of the spell
So long to love and hope
So long to fairy tale
Go now these transient dreams
Fall now these blinding scales
Today's the day
I think I'll turn the other way
I've had my cry
Now I will say a long goodbye
Before the pain subsides
Before the memory beckons
After death has shaken
All is changed in a second
I'll part with innocence
So goes Eden's array
I'll make my exit here
From this world of dismay
No more delay
I think I liked the other way
I've had my cry
Now I will say a long goodbye
Thank You
You were the one
You helped me see
You always did
Now the romance is over
And the damage is done
No more movies
It's frightening
Reality has just begun
But am I free
Lifted off this debris?
True love's a fallacy
The end is nigh
Just just give a sigh
I will say my long goodbye
Words by Joshua Sng
Music by Mark Szto
I altered the lyrics of the original song, which was a duet, I guess to make it a better reflection of how I really feel now. The bitterness has subsided I guess. But the pain still remains; the wounds have yet to heal completely. But life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone...
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
8766 days...
Life is a bazaar they seem to say, shopping for things everyday. Life after graduating, is another crazy bazaar, looking for jobs, near and far.
The weight of age gets heavier and heavier everyday. Especially today.
Life goes on... it always will. Whether in this, or the next. Life will find a way.
So I ask myself, what have I done to deserve life? Nothing. What have I done to deserve eternal life? Nothing.
But I have them anyway. So I choose to rejoice and be glad. No matter the circumstance. No matter how hard life seems at the moment, I will choose to sing a song of joy.
Find me at the Cross
Here I stand forgiven
Here I stand, Holy and righteous
You paid the price
When You laid down Your life
Jesus I surrender all
And I'll walk with You in my heart
I'll walk with You in my heart
Find me at the Cross
Down on my knees
Thank You Lord for saving me
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hellelujah, Hallelujah
Here I stand forgiven
(C) written by Chris O'Brien
24 years, I've walked this earth. I do not know how many more will I be given. But I know where this journey is going. It's good to know that I don't walk this journey alone.
The weight of age gets heavier and heavier everyday. Especially today.
Life goes on... it always will. Whether in this, or the next. Life will find a way.
So I ask myself, what have I done to deserve life? Nothing. What have I done to deserve eternal life? Nothing.
But I have them anyway. So I choose to rejoice and be glad. No matter the circumstance. No matter how hard life seems at the moment, I will choose to sing a song of joy.
Find me at the Cross
Here I stand forgiven
Here I stand, Holy and righteous
You paid the price
When You laid down Your life
Jesus I surrender all
And I'll walk with You in my heart
I'll walk with You in my heart
Find me at the Cross
Down on my knees
Thank You Lord for saving me
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hellelujah, Hallelujah
Here I stand forgiven
(C) written by Chris O'Brien
24 years, I've walked this earth. I do not know how many more will I be given. But I know where this journey is going. It's good to know that I don't walk this journey alone.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Born Loser?
The Story of Gideon, You & Me - Judges 6
Studied 8 years for PSLE, then 5 years for GCE O Levels, and now, still studying to make up for not doing well at the Os. Talk about been a born loser, I’m one… Are you able to identify with me or at least sympathize with me…or what?
Hey, don’t judge me. These words would always echo in my brain again and again whenever I’m met with disappointment. Even worse, it became a stigma along the way.
Even as I grow older each year, somehow the fact of getting “bad results” in the past would still haunt me, even now! However, as I look back at my life’s journey, it doesn’t seem to be that “bad” after all. Well, for one, at least I’m well, happy and alive today.
Then the Lord turned to him and said, “Go with the strength you have and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!” “But Lord,” Gideon replied, “how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!” – Judges 6:14-15
Out of the many Heroes and characters in the Bible, I can identify best with Gideon. Like me, Gideon was a born loser, the least significant among his peers and not to mention that he was also the weakest among his people (least talented). Whoa! Sounds a lot like you & me right!
Then the turning point came when God sent His angel to commission Gideon to save the nation of Israel out of its enemy’s hand. At that point, it might have crossed Gideon’s mind that God was making a joke out of his misery.
But thank God, He wasn’t! And this actually helped to shed some light on my path (go read the rest of the story for yourself). Gideon trusted God after much testing of his faith and he proceeded to be one of the most noted Bible heroes at the end of the day. What a beautiful ending! What a hope this brings to all losers out there!
Lessons to draw out from the story of Gideon
1) We are not “losers” in God’s sight and so don’t you dare judge me or yourself!
2) Failures are stepping stones in life to help us experience God in a more tangible (real) way; we will become more mature in Christ after overcoming each failure.
3) We must continue to trust God even if things don’t go well for us. This will show us how much we really love God. A time of personal reflection and re-dedication to Christ.
(4) Lastly, it is our choice to be more than Conquerors or to stick to the “fate of a born loser”. Each of us can take failure or loss in a specified way: a graceful loser or a poor loser.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. – Romans 8:28
Joshua Loo - Born a Loser but living as a Conqueror
apologies...
My apologies for not yet sorting out the roster. Not used to doing this kind of things. But I will get it done by Thursday evening. One Voice members, please check your emails on Friday.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face is before
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You, Jesus?
Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine,
I can only imagine!
I can only imagine
When the day comes
When I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
(C) Words and Music by Bart Millard
We get distracted by the things of today so often, that we forget to look the forever tomorrow. Imagining what it could be like, to have better results, to get the girl of my dreams, to get the Ph.D, to get that great guitar or bass, to get a dream car. We imagine to much in things that are temporal and forget about the things that will last into eternity.
What will it be like, when this life is going to end. And we look back at our youth and widner why we were so stupid to put our hope and desires of things which really seem so stupid on hindsight.
I used to lie awake at night thinking about the moment on my death bed, when I cross into etrnity. What if it doesn't happen that way? Perhaps I may die in a crueller way! Those thoughts use to frighten the hell out of me.
Often, we would think about the "what ifs" of life. What if I had better results? What if I had gotten that girl/boy? And we are all consumed by it. Consumed by the things that will fade. We treat life so flippantly.
I think there is a better way to spend our time. To think about the forever, eternity, infinity. What it will be like in heaven? What will it be like after I die? that thought used to frighten me, now they will me will joy.
I can only imagine what it will be like in heaven, at this present time in my life. But at least I know, one day, I will be going there.
What it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face is before
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You, Jesus?
Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine,
I can only imagine!
I can only imagine
When the day comes
When I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
(C) Words and Music by Bart Millard
We get distracted by the things of today so often, that we forget to look the forever tomorrow. Imagining what it could be like, to have better results, to get the girl of my dreams, to get the Ph.D, to get that great guitar or bass, to get a dream car. We imagine to much in things that are temporal and forget about the things that will last into eternity.
What will it be like, when this life is going to end. And we look back at our youth and widner why we were so stupid to put our hope and desires of things which really seem so stupid on hindsight.
I used to lie awake at night thinking about the moment on my death bed, when I cross into etrnity. What if it doesn't happen that way? Perhaps I may die in a crueller way! Those thoughts use to frighten the hell out of me.
Often, we would think about the "what ifs" of life. What if I had better results? What if I had gotten that girl/boy? And we are all consumed by it. Consumed by the things that will fade. We treat life so flippantly.
I think there is a better way to spend our time. To think about the forever, eternity, infinity. What it will be like in heaven? What will it be like after I die? that thought used to frighten me, now they will me will joy.
I can only imagine what it will be like in heaven, at this present time in my life. But at least I know, one day, I will be going there.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Walk On
And Love is not an easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second, you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on, walk on
What you've got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place
None of us has been
A place that has to believed
To be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who would only fly for freedom
Walk on, walk on
What you've got, they can't deny
No they can't even try it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
and you can only take so much
Walk on, Walk on
Home, hard to know what it is
If you're never had one
Home, I can't say where it it
But I know I'm going
Home, that's where my heart it
Walk on, Walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you can break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme
All that you fashion
You can leave it all behind
Hallelujah...
(C) Words by Bono
Music by U2
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second, you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on, walk on
What you've got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place
None of us has been
A place that has to believed
To be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who would only fly for freedom
Walk on, walk on
What you've got, they can't deny
No they can't even try it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
and you can only take so much
Walk on, Walk on
Home, hard to know what it is
If you're never had one
Home, I can't say where it it
But I know I'm going
Home, that's where my heart it
Walk on, Walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you can break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme
All that you fashion
You can leave it all behind
Hallelujah...
(C) Words by Bono
Music by U2
Sunday, February 27, 2005
A prayer for tomorrow
For all of you receiving your results.
Read Matthew Chapter 6:25-34
I had asked Ber to specially lead this song this morning. It was the same song that comforted me 7 years ago, just before I received my results.
Be still my soul
Be still my soul, be still my soul
Cease from the labour and the toil
Refreshing springs of peace await
For troubled minds, and hearts that ache
Be still my soul
God knows your way
And He will guide for His name sake
Plunge in the rivers
Of His grace
Rest in the arms of His embrace
Be still my soul, be still my soul
Though battles round you rage and roar
One thing you need and nothing more
To hear the whiper of Your Lord
Be still my child
I know your way
And I will guide for my name sake
Plunge in the rivers of My grace
rest in the arms of My embrace
(C) Kim Noblit
Be still and know that the Lord is around. Looking back, I too was anxious before I received my results. Let go, and let God.
Read Matthew Chapter 6:25-34
I had asked Ber to specially lead this song this morning. It was the same song that comforted me 7 years ago, just before I received my results.
Be still my soul
Be still my soul, be still my soul
Cease from the labour and the toil
Refreshing springs of peace await
For troubled minds, and hearts that ache
Be still my soul
God knows your way
And He will guide for His name sake
Plunge in the rivers
Of His grace
Rest in the arms of His embrace
Be still my soul, be still my soul
Though battles round you rage and roar
One thing you need and nothing more
To hear the whiper of Your Lord
Be still my child
I know your way
And I will guide for my name sake
Plunge in the rivers of My grace
rest in the arms of My embrace
(C) Kim Noblit
Be still and know that the Lord is around. Looking back, I too was anxious before I received my results. Let go, and let God.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Sojourn...
...the journey's ended. At least for now.
It rained today. At last, some welcome relief from this crazy heat spell. The SCDF has sure been busy last few weeks, 17 fires on the average per day. WOW...
But it rained today. Perhaps, this marks the change of seasons, the monsoon season has come. Cool refreshing rain has come to water this parched and thirsty land.
Perhaps this marks a new beginning for me as well. I realised that I have been under some kind of trial the past one year. It started after Powerpoint last year. It ended last night. Fitting I guess, one praise and worship night to another. One whole year and one month.
Life was brutal the past one year. A tough and crazy trial. But what doesn't destroy your faith, will only serve to build it up even more. And I have received the crown of life that was promised.
Happiness, joy, gladness. Not felt these things for a long time. But I have received back again today. For the first time in over a year, I am happy, joyful and glad. And I think it shows on my face.
I was afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not dispairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed. Traded the sorrows, the pain, the sickness, the shame for the JOY of the Lord. AND IT FEELS GOOD!
At last, I feel release, release from the sins, the lust, the lies and the fantasies. I've let the rains coming again to quench my very dried up soul. It feels good. I feel good. Life is good. And it will be even better in the next!!!
The cost I paid, hurt. It still hurts. But the wounds are mending. Let go. And I let her go. Life goes on, it always does. But not the way I want it.
"Truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal." - John 12:24-25
A journey of a thousand miles
Must end with a final step
A roar of thunderous applause
Must end with a final clap
The final word we all must face is
Simple perhaps
The journey's end is not too far
Can we see it clear
The final page when written will
Answer all our fears
Will we leave this world finally
With regret and tears
And Life is brief and fleeting
What dreams will we be chasing
We cannot stop time's passing
Is there some lasting meaning
I'm sure, there must be
Something more to life
I'm sure there must be
Something greater
I'm sure someday
We'll cease from all this strive
If we could only believe in
Forever
Lord, You are my healer
Lord, take my endeavours
Lord, I choose to surrender
I'm sure, there must be
Something more to life
I'm sure there must be
Something greater
I'm sure someday
We'll cease from all this strive
If we could only believe in
Forever
O Lord, I choose to believe in forever
Words: Gabriel Koh
Music: Lin Junwen
O Lord, I choose to believe in forever! No living for today, no forsaking of tomorrow, no spinning, no chasing the wind. Just falling. Falling back, into our arms of love and life again. Amen.
It rained today. At last, some welcome relief from this crazy heat spell. The SCDF has sure been busy last few weeks, 17 fires on the average per day. WOW...
But it rained today. Perhaps, this marks the change of seasons, the monsoon season has come. Cool refreshing rain has come to water this parched and thirsty land.
Perhaps this marks a new beginning for me as well. I realised that I have been under some kind of trial the past one year. It started after Powerpoint last year. It ended last night. Fitting I guess, one praise and worship night to another. One whole year and one month.
Life was brutal the past one year. A tough and crazy trial. But what doesn't destroy your faith, will only serve to build it up even more. And I have received the crown of life that was promised.
Happiness, joy, gladness. Not felt these things for a long time. But I have received back again today. For the first time in over a year, I am happy, joyful and glad. And I think it shows on my face.
I was afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not dispairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed. Traded the sorrows, the pain, the sickness, the shame for the JOY of the Lord. AND IT FEELS GOOD!
At last, I feel release, release from the sins, the lust, the lies and the fantasies. I've let the rains coming again to quench my very dried up soul. It feels good. I feel good. Life is good. And it will be even better in the next!!!
The cost I paid, hurt. It still hurts. But the wounds are mending. Let go. And I let her go. Life goes on, it always does. But not the way I want it.
"Truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal." - John 12:24-25
A journey of a thousand miles
Must end with a final step
A roar of thunderous applause
Must end with a final clap
The final word we all must face is
Simple perhaps
The journey's end is not too far
Can we see it clear
The final page when written will
Answer all our fears
Will we leave this world finally
With regret and tears
And Life is brief and fleeting
What dreams will we be chasing
We cannot stop time's passing
Is there some lasting meaning
I'm sure, there must be
Something more to life
I'm sure there must be
Something greater
I'm sure someday
We'll cease from all this strive
If we could only believe in
Forever
Lord, You are my healer
Lord, take my endeavours
Lord, I choose to surrender
I'm sure, there must be
Something more to life
I'm sure there must be
Something greater
I'm sure someday
We'll cease from all this strive
If we could only believe in
Forever
O Lord, I choose to believe in forever
Words: Gabriel Koh
Music: Lin Junwen
O Lord, I choose to believe in forever! No living for today, no forsaking of tomorrow, no spinning, no chasing the wind. Just falling. Falling back, into our arms of love and life again. Amen.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Cry of the Saviour
The last 2 days have been especially hard to pass. Life took a very devastating turn for me. But in the midst of all this. I know the Lord is with me. God answered "YES" to a prayer I made a few months ago. But as a result, I am feeling so downcast; yet I am grateful.
A huge weight was lifted from me yesterday. And for the first time in many months, I was able to have a good night's rest. And all through the night, the melody of "Cry for a Saviour" was repeating in my head. The Lord was reaching out to me. I woke up this morning, and rewrote the lyrics to the song to what I had heard the Lord say to me.
Cry of the Saviour
Here I am waiting
At the end of the narrow way
Here I am reaching
But you always turn away
Only ever wanted something beautiful
And true
But you turn out to be quite broken
Letting lies deceitfully rule
Death it beckons
For man, that's the price to pay
Turn to the Cross
Salvation's only way
The price I paid, was a painful sacrifice
To keep, to keep you from the lies
To let the Truth into your life
I can mend, all your broken pieces
I can make you whole again
Heal you from the pain and sickness
Save you from this crippling bane
Come to me and find the rest
Come by faith, that's life first test
For you My body it was broken
Shed My blood upon that Cross
For your sins, I've paid the cost
Come to Me, no longer lost
Let me mend all your broken pieces
Let me make you whole again
Heal you from the pain and sickness
Save you from this crippling bane
PS: Joshua, Ruiyi, hope you guys don't take offence!
A huge weight was lifted from me yesterday. And for the first time in many months, I was able to have a good night's rest. And all through the night, the melody of "Cry for a Saviour" was repeating in my head. The Lord was reaching out to me. I woke up this morning, and rewrote the lyrics to the song to what I had heard the Lord say to me.
Cry of the Saviour
Here I am waiting
At the end of the narrow way
Here I am reaching
But you always turn away
Only ever wanted something beautiful
And true
But you turn out to be quite broken
Letting lies deceitfully rule
Death it beckons
For man, that's the price to pay
Turn to the Cross
Salvation's only way
The price I paid, was a painful sacrifice
To keep, to keep you from the lies
To let the Truth into your life
I can mend, all your broken pieces
I can make you whole again
Heal you from the pain and sickness
Save you from this crippling bane
Come to me and find the rest
Come by faith, that's life first test
For you My body it was broken
Shed My blood upon that Cross
For your sins, I've paid the cost
Come to Me, no longer lost
Let me mend all your broken pieces
Let me make you whole again
Heal you from the pain and sickness
Save you from this crippling bane
PS: Joshua, Ruiyi, hope you guys don't take offence!
Goodbye (part 2)
I can see the pain living your eyes
And I know how hard you've tried
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sypathise
And I'll never critisize
All you'ver ever meant to my life
I don't wanna let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but
Goodbye
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me
I don't wanna let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say
Goodbye
by Air Supply
Dedicated to all who are like me. Let her go. That what the Lord said. Some of you in PMCYM are like me. You need to let go. Not easy. Not easy. So let's help each other say goodbye. No matter how much it hurts.
And I know how hard you've tried
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sypathise
And I'll never critisize
All you'ver ever meant to my life
I don't wanna let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but
Goodbye
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me
I don't wanna let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say
Goodbye
by Air Supply
Dedicated to all who are like me. Let her go. That what the Lord said. Some of you in PMCYM are like me. You need to let go. Not easy. Not easy. So let's help each other say goodbye. No matter how much it hurts.
Rejected and Alone (part2)
Self indulgent post. Highlight if you really want to read.
Why did it have to happen this way. Why does it have to end this way? I guess I asked for it, didn't I.
Lonliness. That is a feeling that I am starting to get accustomed to. Maybe this is what life will be for me from now on. Alone. Rejected and Alone.
LMY GLS CPYF CPL SMLJ NQMR NXYK
7 failures. It's getting really difficult to go through the heartbreak over and over again. Then again. Why should I feel this way? I did not do anyting in the firstplace, I simply hid in the distance. Maybe writting this all down will help soothe the pain and the nonsense which is my life. I guess that has been the pattern of my life since forever. Never been comfortable around other people. Feel more comfortable alone. Alone in my room doing my own thing. Alone in the library pouring over my math. Alone in the corner of church praying and asking God for company. Somehow I've always felt that when I'm around other people, I'm like a pest to them, rather thean a friend. They don't seem to want to listen. But that's ok. I guess that's just me. Perhaps its because of this introvertness, I seem arrogant and proud. Maybe I am. Actually, I probably am. I just don't want to admit it. There are no permanent friends, only permanent interests. To me that is really true. Felt so used by people. Goo d guys finish last huh? But I'm not a saint myself. Only a sinner. A wretched and broken sinner, not one deserving of anything. I QUIT. I really do. Don't know how to live anymore. Better to die and to be born again. Let go and let God take over. Been holding too many things in my hands and refuse to open them to receive the bountiful blessings that God has in store.
Got a habit. Not a bad one, but one that I should stop doing so often. I read a lot of books. And usually, after reading it, I would read it again. Never wanting to move on to a new book. Always stuck with the same old one for a long time. Always dwelling on the past and not the future. I've just finish reading a book. But I keep looking back at it, keep looking at the past. I need to put it back on the shelf, and let the one who is more deserving have it completely. I need to move on; move into the future. And in time to come, pick up another book to read. I guess there is only one book that is really worth reading. Only this book provides the love that I seek. A love that is real, noit a fake lip-service that gives excuses and cheats then stabs you in the back and leaves you wounded and broken hearted. This book has always been by my bedside. But I never seem to want to read it. Never seem to want to open it. I guess it's about time I started reading it again. And draw closer to the source of love that I have been cheating. A love that loves me, but is not reciprocated. That is the only way to find true love. To find the Frist Love, once again.
Lonliness. I know many youth in the PMCYM feel that way. I've been there. I am one of them. But I've found a Friend who will be by my side always. A Friend who loves me more than any girl can. A love that was demonstrated by death, not just by Words. I AM one of the lonely ones. But I know now, I am not that lonely after all. And some of the youth need to find this Friend.
Why did it have to happen this way. Why does it have to end this way? I guess I asked for it, didn't I.
Lonliness. That is a feeling that I am starting to get accustomed to. Maybe this is what life will be for me from now on. Alone. Rejected and Alone.
LMY GLS CPYF CPL SMLJ NQMR NXYK
7 failures. It's getting really difficult to go through the heartbreak over and over again. Then again. Why should I feel this way? I did not do anyting in the firstplace, I simply hid in the distance. Maybe writting this all down will help soothe the pain and the nonsense which is my life. I guess that has been the pattern of my life since forever. Never been comfortable around other people. Feel more comfortable alone. Alone in my room doing my own thing. Alone in the library pouring over my math. Alone in the corner of church praying and asking God for company. Somehow I've always felt that when I'm around other people, I'm like a pest to them, rather thean a friend. They don't seem to want to listen. But that's ok. I guess that's just me. Perhaps its because of this introvertness, I seem arrogant and proud. Maybe I am. Actually, I probably am. I just don't want to admit it. There are no permanent friends, only permanent interests. To me that is really true. Felt so used by people. Goo d guys finish last huh? But I'm not a saint myself. Only a sinner. A wretched and broken sinner, not one deserving of anything. I QUIT. I really do. Don't know how to live anymore. Better to die and to be born again. Let go and let God take over. Been holding too many things in my hands and refuse to open them to receive the bountiful blessings that God has in store.
Got a habit. Not a bad one, but one that I should stop doing so often. I read a lot of books. And usually, after reading it, I would read it again. Never wanting to move on to a new book. Always stuck with the same old one for a long time. Always dwelling on the past and not the future. I've just finish reading a book. But I keep looking back at it, keep looking at the past. I need to put it back on the shelf, and let the one who is more deserving have it completely. I need to move on; move into the future. And in time to come, pick up another book to read. I guess there is only one book that is really worth reading. Only this book provides the love that I seek. A love that is real, noit a fake lip-service that gives excuses and cheats then stabs you in the back and leaves you wounded and broken hearted. This book has always been by my bedside. But I never seem to want to read it. Never seem to want to open it. I guess it's about time I started reading it again. And draw closer to the source of love that I have been cheating. A love that loves me, but is not reciprocated. That is the only way to find true love. To find the Frist Love, once again.
Lonliness. I know many youth in the PMCYM feel that way. I've been there. I am one of them. But I've found a Friend who will be by my side always. A Friend who loves me more than any girl can. A love that was demonstrated by death, not just by Words. I AM one of the lonely ones. But I know now, I am not that lonely after all. And some of the youth need to find this Friend.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Poor in Spirit
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven" - Matthew 5:3 (NASB)
"God blesses those who realize their need for Him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them" - Matthew 5:3 (NLT)
There are some good things about being poor (materially). We don't have to worry about being robbed, we don't have to worry about losing money. But I think more importantly, we have no need for "wants". Things of luxury etc. We may have a lot of needs, but we have no wants.
So what does it mean to be "poor in spirit"? Or who are those who are "poor in spirit". the New Living Translation inteprets this as those who "realize their need for Him". This beatitude calls us to be poor in spirit; but there are things that always get in our way.
The Bible gives us an example of a church that was NOT poor in spirit. In Revelations chapter 3, in the Letter to the Laodiceans, God tells the church to repent and boast about things of the Lord and not in their own wealth.
The Loadicean Church was a church blessed by material wealth and as a result it became proud. Jesus tells them to "buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourselves, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed, and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see."
Each of those statement was a rebuke and one that shot down each of the things that made the church wealthy. istory tell us that the Church of Loadicea was destroyed.
What are the things that prevent us from being poor in spirit? When I asked all of you this question I got answers like, "my studies, my friends etc etc". Basically, everything except me. That is pride speaking.
As a worship team, we need to note something from this lesson. We can easily fall into the same trap of not being "poor in spirit". Our skills and our abilities are blessings from the Lord. These are the things that can make us proud. And pride will kill us.
PS: the above was a summary of the devotion last saturday. The whole series on the beattitudes will be conducted over the course of the year. All are welcome to join the One Voice Bible studies if you want.
"God blesses those who realize their need for Him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them" - Matthew 5:3 (NLT)
There are some good things about being poor (materially). We don't have to worry about being robbed, we don't have to worry about losing money. But I think more importantly, we have no need for "wants". Things of luxury etc. We may have a lot of needs, but we have no wants.
So what does it mean to be "poor in spirit"? Or who are those who are "poor in spirit". the New Living Translation inteprets this as those who "realize their need for Him". This beatitude calls us to be poor in spirit; but there are things that always get in our way.
The Bible gives us an example of a church that was NOT poor in spirit. In Revelations chapter 3, in the Letter to the Laodiceans, God tells the church to repent and boast about things of the Lord and not in their own wealth.
The Loadicean Church was a church blessed by material wealth and as a result it became proud. Jesus tells them to "buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourselves, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed, and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see."
Each of those statement was a rebuke and one that shot down each of the things that made the church wealthy. istory tell us that the Church of Loadicea was destroyed.
What are the things that prevent us from being poor in spirit? When I asked all of you this question I got answers like, "my studies, my friends etc etc". Basically, everything except me. That is pride speaking.
As a worship team, we need to note something from this lesson. We can easily fall into the same trap of not being "poor in spirit". Our skills and our abilities are blessings from the Lord. These are the things that can make us proud. And pride will kill us.
PS: the above was a summary of the devotion last saturday. The whole series on the beattitudes will be conducted over the course of the year. All are welcome to join the One Voice Bible studies if you want.
Monday, February 21, 2005
WIN
Worship and Intercession Night!!
Saturday 26th February
PMC Sanctuary
7.30pm
This Saturday is WIN!!! So please come down to pray and intercede for the church, Pasir Ris, the nation and the world!
SGL, please do try to encourage your charges to come down as well.
Saturday 26th February
PMC Sanctuary
7.30pm
This Saturday is WIN!!! So please come down to pray and intercede for the church, Pasir Ris, the nation and the world!
SGL, please do try to encourage your charges to come down as well.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Cry for a Saviour
I'm sorry dear,
I could never truly love
It's the greatest littlest
Love I keep falling short of
Only every wanted
Something beautiful and true
But it turns out quite broken
One more wound to dazedly rue
Who will mend the broken pieces
Who will make it right again
Hold me till this sickness ceases
Save me from this crippling bane
Death it seems beckons
Could it be otherwise
For I'm my worst enemy
I see the truth in my lies
I guess there's one place
Where the vicious path will end
Hell the abyss I believe
That I do truly descend
Who can mend the broken pieces
Who can make it right again
Hold me till this sickness ceases
Save me from this crippling bane
Because I need a little rest
Once more this freak has flunked the test
too many girls have been broken
And I'm beaten by the burden
I'm a goner that's a given
So I need to be forgiven
Will You mend the broken pieces
Will You make it right again
Hold me till this sickness ceases
Save me from this crippling bane
Who will be my saviour
Who could be my saviour
Will You be my saviour?
Words by Joshua Sng
Music by Ang Ruiyi
I could never truly love
It's the greatest littlest
Love I keep falling short of
Only every wanted
Something beautiful and true
But it turns out quite broken
One more wound to dazedly rue
Who will mend the broken pieces
Who will make it right again
Hold me till this sickness ceases
Save me from this crippling bane
Death it seems beckons
Could it be otherwise
For I'm my worst enemy
I see the truth in my lies
I guess there's one place
Where the vicious path will end
Hell the abyss I believe
That I do truly descend
Who can mend the broken pieces
Who can make it right again
Hold me till this sickness ceases
Save me from this crippling bane
Because I need a little rest
Once more this freak has flunked the test
too many girls have been broken
And I'm beaten by the burden
I'm a goner that's a given
So I need to be forgiven
Will You mend the broken pieces
Will You make it right again
Hold me till this sickness ceases
Save me from this crippling bane
Who will be my saviour
Who could be my saviour
Will You be my saviour?
Words by Joshua Sng
Music by Ang Ruiyi
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Live! Worship Workshop
Truthmin will be organising a worship workshop to equip youths with the right attitudes and skills for leading worship.
It is targeted at those of you who:
- currently serve in a worship team
- are of intermediate standard
- desire to learn and improve
There will be 4 sessions in total:
On 4,18 March and 1,15 April
All will be held from 4.30pm to 9.30pm at Hope Centre.
Cost: $40 (For all 4 sessions)
6 Tracks to chose from:
- Worship Leading
- Keyboards
- Acoustic Guitar
- Electric Guitar
- Electric Bass
- Drums and Percussion
This is not just limited to One Voice members. If you fit the profile above, then I strongly encourage you to attend. If you would like more info, please email me or Joshua.
It is targeted at those of you who:
- currently serve in a worship team
- are of intermediate standard
- desire to learn and improve
There will be 4 sessions in total:
On 4,18 March and 1,15 April
All will be held from 4.30pm to 9.30pm at Hope Centre.
Cost: $40 (For all 4 sessions)
6 Tracks to chose from:
- Worship Leading
- Keyboards
- Acoustic Guitar
- Electric Guitar
- Electric Bass
- Drums and Percussion
This is not just limited to One Voice members. If you fit the profile above, then I strongly encourage you to attend. If you would like more info, please email me or Joshua.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Living/Dying
There is only one thing worth living for.
And there is only one thing worth dying for.
And that is the Gospel.
And there is only one thing worth dying for.
And that is the Gospel.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Broken Glass
Somehow seems like you're still here
Somehow seems like you're near
You were the brightest, now your light is gone
Your star faded before the dawn
Your laugh was clearest it warmed our hearts
Now we are ripped apart
Pools of light, ripples of memory
Echoes of yesterday still surround me
The tides of time are washing by
Can you in eternity hear my cry?
You're still here somehow
I just can't see you now
You're still here with me
Why can't I see
Your dreams... shattered
Faded light on shattered glass
I can't believe you're part of the past
God You once promised You'd watch over us
You called us to place our trust
In Your great love in Your faithfulness
Yet he fell into darkness
Waves of forget, footprints in the sand
Tomorrow beckons but I feel at an end
God I'm too tired to cry
Can You in eternity hear my cry?
If You're still here somehow
I can't see You now
If You're here with me
Why can't I see
My Life... broken
Broken light on tinted glass
I can't believe you let this come to pass
words by Gabriel Koh
music by Chris Huang
Somehow seems like you're near
You were the brightest, now your light is gone
Your star faded before the dawn
Your laugh was clearest it warmed our hearts
Now we are ripped apart
Pools of light, ripples of memory
Echoes of yesterday still surround me
The tides of time are washing by
Can you in eternity hear my cry?
You're still here somehow
I just can't see you now
You're still here with me
Why can't I see
Your dreams... shattered
Faded light on shattered glass
I can't believe you're part of the past
God You once promised You'd watch over us
You called us to place our trust
In Your great love in Your faithfulness
Yet he fell into darkness
Waves of forget, footprints in the sand
Tomorrow beckons but I feel at an end
God I'm too tired to cry
Can You in eternity hear my cry?
If You're still here somehow
I can't see You now
If You're here with me
Why can't I see
My Life... broken
Broken light on tinted glass
I can't believe you let this come to pass
words by Gabriel Koh
music by Chris Huang
Saturday, February 05, 2005
OKAY...
I just realised that next week is Chinese New Year weekend and E-games as well. Many of you would probably be visiting your relatives or have problems getting your parent's permission to come down.
And so if you cannot make the practice on 5 Feb, you most likely would have problems on 12 Feb as well. Unfortunately, I cannot allow another later date for this consolidation; as I need this done immediately after 12 Feb.
So, what I am going to do is to include the attendence on 29 Jan as well.
I hope all of you can understand why I am doing this. My rationale is simple, if you are unable to turn up at least once within a 3 week period, then you should seriously reconsider your commitment to this team.
And so if you cannot make the practice on 5 Feb, you most likely would have problems on 12 Feb as well. Unfortunately, I cannot allow another later date for this consolidation; as I need this done immediately after 12 Feb.
So, what I am going to do is to include the attendence on 29 Jan as well.
I hope all of you can understand why I am doing this. My rationale is simple, if you are unable to turn up at least once within a 3 week period, then you should seriously reconsider your commitment to this team.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
This week...
...is going to be a little different.
There will be practice as usual this weekend. Nicholas is leading. 6.30pm in Aldersgate Hall.
OK, what I need to do in the next 2 weeks is consolidate the roster of the worship team. So basically for this week and next week. If you want to continue serving in One Voice, then please appear on one of the 2 weeks.
If you do not turn up either this week or next, I will automatically assume that you are leaving One Voice.
This is done for several reasons. Firstly, to consolidate the team for 2005. This is also to facilitate in the planning for Worship and Intecession Night on 26 February. For WIN, I will definately be using the full team.
Secondly, from March onwards, I will be implementing a new system for One Voice. It will be something like a roster. I will brief you guys on this on 20 February, which is the date I have set aside for the WIN rehearsal.
So, I hope to see all of you on Saturday, if not the next. If you have any questions, please post it on the Tagboard.
If you know of anyone who wants to join One Voice, tell that person to see me personally from March onwards.
There will be practice as usual this weekend. Nicholas is leading. 6.30pm in Aldersgate Hall.
OK, what I need to do in the next 2 weeks is consolidate the roster of the worship team. So basically for this week and next week. If you want to continue serving in One Voice, then please appear on one of the 2 weeks.
If you do not turn up either this week or next, I will automatically assume that you are leaving One Voice.
This is done for several reasons. Firstly, to consolidate the team for 2005. This is also to facilitate in the planning for Worship and Intecession Night on 26 February. For WIN, I will definately be using the full team.
Secondly, from March onwards, I will be implementing a new system for One Voice. It will be something like a roster. I will brief you guys on this on 20 February, which is the date I have set aside for the WIN rehearsal.
So, I hope to see all of you on Saturday, if not the next. If you have any questions, please post it on the Tagboard.
If you know of anyone who wants to join One Voice, tell that person to see me personally from March onwards.
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