Over...

I'm not sure if I should say that this is the worst semester in my 3 years in NUS; or a semester of blessings. Not really blessings in the sense of being prospered, but going through hell and making it through and having your faith strengthened. This year's exam season was a killer. 4 papers squeezed into 3 days. But it's over. Holidays have begun. So look on the bright side of thing! :) For memories...

Gabriel (Koh not Lim) said that spoofs are a sign that your brain is working. So here is an attempt at that!

Almost seems like yesterday
That, we were planning for today
It's gonna be happening!

And now it's finally arrived
No more studying, got more time
It's gonna be happening!

It's been a long way
After all that mugging
It's gonna be happening

Months of preparing and project meetings
Months of lecturing and pontanging
Months of readings and head-banging
And now it's finally here...

Examinations finally done
Now we're all prepared for fun
Days of mugging are done and over
Now we welcome the happy choingsters

No more boring project meetings
No more essays, labs or readings
Now for singing, dancing and shopping
Time for HOLIDAYS to be happening!!!!!

My run down of the year so far:

January
The year starts of pretty interestingly enough! The usual Holy Communion at the Watchnight Service and supper fellowship! Thereafter, I have to go rescue 2 damsels in distress, who couldn't get a taxi home. Spend the rest of the night playing mahjong at Ryan's place thereafter. Fun. Things get more "fun" when the BCE musicians are informed by Gabriel the exact scope of their task. As music director, I nearly faint, and I actually fall sick for 3 weeks. It doesn't help that meeting took place on the same day as the LOTR movie marathon. Anyway school starts the weekafter. Auditions for BCE take place on the first week. I joke that "my lectures are a break from BCE/VCF activities." It turns out that that wasn't really a joke. During the first month, I only go home before the sun sets 4 times (according to my private journal). Not so funny anymore. My timetable is slack, I only have 1 lecture on most of the days. But BCE/VCF stuff use up the rest of the time. Fusion 2005 on 22 Feb was certainly a highlight of the month. I would still say that the first Fusion 2 years ago was still better though.

February.
Operation Karang Guni. Madness. But sure was fun. ChIndian. Decided to pontang that one. Really needed to sleep that day. By God's grace and providence, the BCE musicians complete the compositions for the songs almost 2 weeks ahead of schedule and preview the songs to the cast. Only then does the enormity of the task at hand dawn on us. But those guys are monsters man!! Was an honour to work with them. Chinese New Year, one of my biggest Ang Pow collections ever! The BCE com collectively goes through a very testing time, together. That's where we really live out the BCE theme verse. Mid-term recess week was the worse. The highlight of that week was definately the first (out of 2) BCE full band practices that we had, this one at Ruiyi's church. WOAH! No words to describe it. The lowest point would defiantely have been the practice at engin bridge that same week. Also, no words can describe it. The Lord gives the Lord takes away and by His Blood, I try to ahead. I go to Church with an ear to ear grin that weekend and co-lead worship at WIN. February was a depressing month.
March
It only gets worse. Mid term season begins. With a mid-term on my birthday. Sucks. I turn 24, but spend the whole day, 8am to 10pm in school. What a way to spend your birthday. BCE kicks into high gear! Studies are neglected for sure. Thank God, this semester I copy notes and so things actually go into my head during the lecture; but even then, not much. Synerg!z. A long needed spiritual refreshment. God defiantely spoke to me during that hot Thursday afternoon. You can read the entry on 18 March for more details. But that was the catalyst to start moving on. BCE a week later; a culmination of months of preparing and rehearsing. Fantastic. But I never knew it would take such a toll on me. I immediately start having really wierd dreams after that, a spiritual attack. I also find out that my JC maths teacher passed away on the same week as the musical. Very sad. But at least March ends with me being able to see the bright side of things.

April
Exam season begins. And I begin to start catching up on the work that I had missed. Unfortuantely, my nightmares persist; till I found the closure that I had been seeking for in 2 months. Closure has begun, but it will take time to close. Exam week comes. Science library fellowship begins. Quite interesting. Much fewer people this time round. I wonder why. Exams ended today. And with the killer papers that I had, I might possibly graduate due to poor results. Well, it's all in God's hands now.

Slaughtered...

Highlight if you want to read...beware, it's going to be... gory...

I am predicting a clean sweep for the maths department this time round. 4-0 in their favour. The papers were not entirely merciless like last semester's Complex Analysis 2 paper or as word of mouth has it, this year's Financial Mathematics 1 paper. They were doable, but not scorable. But it sure doesn't help if you leave entire questions blank!

"I will bring them down like lambs to the slaughter" - Jeremiah 51:40a

Ok this is probably out of context. Do you know that lambs, when being led to the slaughter do not even try to resist. They just lie down, and let someone slit their throat. No screaming, just eerie silence.

Sure felt that way this afternoon, and yesterday. Everyone just keeping silent in the examination hall. Being slaughtered...

Well, one more paper to go! Lebesgue Integration. This one is a merciless module. The proofs are out of the world. The lecturer even said, "I am not expecting any of you to complete any of the questions. Your aim is not to complete the questions but to show me the ideas in your head. I am only expecting partial answers, in fact only partial of the partial answers." Oh well... what an exam season!

Look on the bright side! 1 day to go before the holidays begin! A nice long 3 month holiday.

Stop dreaming...

Not been having any dreams the last few days, pretty wierd. But compared to the "nightmares" I was having just a month ago, I would say it's a welcome relief. Anyway, lack of dreams, mean a deeper and more restful sleep. Good, since I'm in the midst of the exams.

A dear Brother-in-Christ once told me a story of 2 young people. The girl was in her midteens and the guy was a year older. And they fell for each other after attending a concert together. But knowing that they had to put their studies first, the guy told the girl to "put their love into a container". And in several years time, if they still loved each other, to take it out of the container and savour it.

When I first heard the story, I laughed non-stop for over 10 minutes! Strangely, I somehow remembered this story again today, as well as another story. THE story from the book "Boy meets Girl". I won't go into details. But part of it is about dreams falling apart and crashing down.

Looking back at the story that was told by my friend, I now realise it's not that funny anymore. Though it seemed so childish and stupid at that time, I now see the deep maturity in that descision, a descision that was way beyond their years. And I thank them, for setting an example for me to follow.

I've seen dreams crash down before me many times. On a not-so-lonely night at Body Building Camp at Camp Christine in December 2001, at the Central Forum when the Pharmarceutical Society were having their bazzaar in September 2002, at the engin bridge on 24 February 2005... the list goes on.

The guy in "Boy meets Girl" had to literally bury his love in a container. He let go, and let God take control of his life again. A life to refocus, recollect and rededicate the time lost on silly things back to the Lord. And after many years, he saw his container opened and the spot where his dreams came crashing down, he saw them renewed again.

"Look up my son, and look at me
And the bloodstained Cross of Calvary
The Bride I died for is mine yet be
Like you, I am waiting, so be like me"

I wrote those words after really being inspired by the Holy Spirit one lonely night in November last year. Amidst a very confusing time in my life. Today, I looked at another peom, and I now I realise what the words mean; that they were not meant for me.

"Light of His blessings and waters of His will
Decides to transform us into a beautiful tale"

Now I get it. Those dreams were mine, selfishly mine. They were not the dreams that God wanted me to have. So I guess like the 2 young people I first talked about, I am going to have to put my dreams into a container and bury it somewhere. Perhaps, that is where it's meant to remain. But maybe, one day I will dig them out again and enjoy its contents. But only if the Lord leads.

Only death can give life. Jesus' death.

Where do we stand?

That's the question Joel asked on the BCE blog. I have no clue where I stand. I may possibly graduate in 5 days; I may go on for another year; who knows, God willing I may continue to masters? Or even further on?

Had a very long chat with Shaun this afternoon. And I feel exactly the way he feels; like a desert. And this 3 week old cough is not helping much. But this morning's sermon hit the nail on the head; persevere, count the blessings and above all that, the King still has one more move. One thing I know for sure is that God is always there. Even though sometimes, it gets very hard to worship Him. It get's hard to pray. It get's hard to feel the joy of salvation again. Yet, I will continue to sing His praise.

Lord, You seem so far way
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart

I will sing, I will praise
Even in my darkest hour, through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing, I will praise
Lift my hands to honour you
Because Your Word is true, I will sing

Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans you have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart

(C) Words and music by Don Moen

Let us be One Voice...

How is it, that 2 people can think of the same song within the same week? How is it that they can look through the web in the same week and discover a missing verse to a song that we have sung a few times? I guess the answer is that God spoke.

I told myself that I would lead the following song the next time I lead worship. And what do you know? Isaac led it this morning. I'm sure God spoke to him too. This, in my honest opinion, is the best and most well-written of all the Planetshaker's song. It's all about Jesus, that's what worship is about.

It's all about Jesus
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the way He changed our lives
It's all about Jesus
The power of His blood can't be denied

It's all about Jesus
It's all about the covenant He made
It's all about Jesus
Victorious He rose up from the grave

We lift our hearts to Him
He is the reason that we sing

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We praies Your Name

It's all about Jesus
It's all about the way He set us free
It's all about Jesus
Bearing all our sins at Calvary

It's all about Jesus
It's all about the gift of love He gave
It all about Jesus
The precious Lamb of God was slain

(C) Words and music by Henry Seeley

MA4211: Functional Analysis

Had a much better day in the library today, maybe it was because I had some inspiration!! (hehe... I will leave that to all of your imagination!) Re-copied and paraphrased some of the proofs presented in the lecture notes.

I think those of you who have spoken to me will know that I am a pretty strong advocate of copying your own notes when it comes to mathematics. Yeah, when a lot of abstract and complicated proofs are presented, copying does help you think through what you are writing down and better understand that proof. That's why I am re-copying everything for this module. Just had a test on this module last Friday, it was ok. After the test was done, A/P Chew presented some possible solutions. And mine mostly fit his, so I guess I would do okay.

Functional Analysis; this was one module in which I did not touch a single tutorial question as I had no clue what was going on! To have scored a B+ for the first test was really God's amazing grace. But then, it was more becuase everyone did badly, rather than my own merit; I almost failed that test! Ironically, this is one module who name intimidated me the first time I looked through the maths prospectus in year one. I never considered taking it, until a friend told me it was one of the better modules, true enough it is.

It is the 4th analysis module that I am doing. It's interesting that most mathematics undergrads really hate analysis, me included, and while most do only 1 analysis module, I've taken 4! And I intend to take MA4266: Topology, next semester, which will make it 5!! Somehow have a knack for it. Don't know why.

Anyway, the module is about linear functionals, (functions whose codomain is the real number line and the function is linear, not straight line, but linear, ie f(ax +by) = af(x) + bf(y)) on Banach Spaces and Hilbert Spaces. And of course the main part of the course focuses on the 4 big theorems in Functional Analysis, Hahn-Banach, Closed-Graph, Open-Mapping and Banach-Steinhauss Theorems. Just revisted the proofs of most of those theorems today. Very interesting. It's good that this module is a "soft-analysis" module, so I can avoid episilon-delta like proofs during the exam.

Covered most of the module today. That's good. Still need to cover 2 more sections. Then I should be ok with this module. Will see how I fare when I study at home on Friday.

PS: Read something interesting just now on another blog. Maybe I will say something tomorrow.

MA3215: 3D Differential Geometry

Today was a really unproductive day. Only completed half the helpsheet. Went home early to sleep. Slept late last night, or rather early this morning.

Although its an interesting module, it's got too many calculations to be considered a pure mathematics module in my opinion. If I cannot get a graph theory honours project, this will defiantely be my next option. This module is one where I really see the power of mathematics being displayed. It brings all the different branches of mathematics together in a big way, modern algebra, calculus, linear algebra, geometry all come together in this module.

It's pretty interesting now, looking back on some of the lectures, when A/P Loke would say things like, "this is nothing deep going on here ah, just linear albegra, covered in MA2101." And you go, "yeah that's true." But now on hindsight, we were doing pretty advance linear algebra stuff, like finding eigenvectors and eigenvalues to solve problems in calculus!!! If that isn't deep then I wonder what is?!?

Interesting to note, John Nash also made significant contributions to this branch of mathematics, though most people will associate him with game theory, he actually made quite a lot of contributions to this branch of mathematics, topology etc. His Embedding theorem states, 2 real algebraic manifolds are equivalent if and only if they are analytically homeomorphic. I have no idea what that means!

Back to today, was unable to focus on anything man, so only did 2 chapters out of 4 for my helpsheet, then I came home to catch up on sleep. Only now, (at 1am) is my brain starting to wake up, I guess its going to be a long night.

EDIT: Just had to add this, was cracking my brain the whole day to see how I can relate this module to something remotely Biblical. (the fact is... I can't) So, let me try anyway, this may sounds blasphemous, so please don't stone me!

From what I've seen, one of the applications of Differntial Geometry, to higher dimensions, that is Algebraic Topology and Algebraic Geometry, that's when you start working on manifolds (n-dimension objects), is it's being applied to physics. In particular General Relativity. The Holy Grail of physics is said to be the TOE or Theory of Everything. When all the forces can be considered unified. I guess like the modern church, we see so many denominations. We now hear that the new Pope hopes to unite Chrisitians across the world. A grand idea. And wouldn't it be wonderful if all Christians really stood united?

The fact is, we already should be. No matter where you come from, the Gospel is one and the same. And that is the unifying factor. Then why are such a disparate group? Perhaps we've lost the sight of this Gospel that is supposed to bind us together. I once told a younger youth, it is one thing to know what the Gospel is about and another to fully understand its meaning. And once you understand, life is going to be drastically different for you.

(I will leave the differntial geometry out of this one, it's going to be abstract when I draw the relation.)

MA4264: Game Theory

Most people would say modules on game theory will show you how it's applied in modern economics... unless you take it in the department of mathematics, NUS. :(

This module was more like getting into the mind of John Nash, and after taking it, you really know why he went nuts!!!

Today was a pretty unproductive day, besides waking up late and missing a macdonalds breakfast (I had to contend with bread at home), I could hardly seem to get my brain working, unlike yesterday. I guess because its a math module and not an econs one, all the concepts are simply reduced to numbers and symbols. And so the intuitive feeling behind what is going on is reduced to logic and reasoning. No wonder John Nash went crazy. Well, stayed back after sunset prayer to continue sutdying with Gloria and some others at YIH. At least I managed to finish part of my help sheet, the definitions and statement of theorems etc. I really hate it when we need to write helpsheets. Yes, it may be a good form of revision in itself, but it's really troublesome. Got 2 to write this semester.

Not suprisingly, one of my favourite movies is "A Beautiful Mind". A rough biography on the life of John Nash. The part that strikes out is the following part of the movie, when John Nash goes up to make his accpetance speech for his nobel prize.

"I've always believed in numbers and the equations and logics that lead to reason. But after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask myself, 'What truly is logic? Who decides reason?' My quest has taken me to through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional - and back. And I have made the most important discovery of my career. the most important discovery of my life:It is only in the mysterious equations of LOVE that any logic or reason can be found. You are the reason I am, You are all my reasons." (paraphrased)

Unfortunately, John Nash never made such a quote in real life. But it's a nice quote, espeically to me. Logic, reason, numbers, equtions are all cornerstones of mathematics. But when all is said and done, as a Christian, I have to remember that it's all about Jesus. The Lord of love.

Indeed it is mystery why Jesus would choose to die a criminal's death for sinners like you and me. What's the logic and reason behind that? Unconditional love.

PS: Watch for tomorrow when I tackle a really funky sounding module, Three-Dimensional Differntial Geometry!!!

MA4262: Lebesgue Integration

Hell week has begun. A final burst of nerdism before the exams. Possibly my last exam; but probably not. 4 modules, and I've set aside 4 days this week, one day for each module. Decided to blog a bit each day, to really bore you peeps with a series of completely nerd posts.

Mathematicians solve problems, if there are no problems, we'll create one

I guess this module really epitomizes that statement. Shaun, if you think integration at secondary school level is fun, well, like I said, you are just scratching the surface.

I guess the name of this module is a little deceiving, it's not completely about integration as some people think, but its more on the Theory of Lebesgue Measure and it's applications to integration, differentiation and the Banach Space, Lp.

It's an interesting module, not as dry as some other analysis modules I've taken. But it's super crazy man... understanding the proofs take a monster effort. But I guess the approach Lebesgue took to integration is a very interesting one, and the Lebesgue integral is certainly a lot more powerful than the standard Riemann Integral. Unfortuantely, it's notoriously difficult to define. And there is a more powerful integral available now, the Henstock Integral. Maybe I should try do an honours project on it. Sounds like fun!!!

I guess, the approach I took to studying this module was a little flawed in the first few weeks of studying it, I thought it was a "soft-analysis" module, so I could avoid the tedious epsilon-delta type proofs and look for nice elegant proofs. I am so wrong.

The whole module is about convergence and approximation theorems. And once that comes into play, well, say hello to epsilon, delta, and sometimes even eta.

Looking at life, maybe there is a parallel. We always try take short cuts don't we? Instead of taking the long tedious way, we look for the path of least resistance. Sometimes it works, but sometimes, we end up backtracking and having take an even longer route.

Convergence to God. Wrote about that once. Life should like a convergent series, converging to God. Initially, hardly anyone starts out being or wanting to be close to God. Time is like n as it tends to infinity, as time goes on, our life, our patterns should follow that of Christ. Convergence.

If you thought...

...that the mandarin version of "King of Majesty" was cool... check this one out!!!

我 屈 膝 在 你 的 脚 前
你 是 我 一 切 所 需
我 转 向 你 而 你 就 在 身 边
在 患 难 中 我 寻 求 你
你 是 我 全 心 所 求
我 要 一 生 顺 服, 献 给你

One Way, 耶 稣
你 是 唯 一 我 愿 为 你 而 活
One Way, 耶 稣
你 是 唯 一 我 愿 为 你 而 活

你 从 来 不 曾 走 远
每 时 刻 在 我 身 边
你 恩 典 深 深 充 满 在 我 心
你 从 来 不 曾 改 变
昨 日 今 日 到 永 远
我 要 与 你 同 行 直 到 终 点

主 你 是 道路 真 理 生 命
不 凭 眼 见 凭 信 而 活 为 你
我 活 着 只 为 你

By the way, there is a Japanese version as well! Available on the latest United CD. The trick is finding it!

Journey...

the original lyrics...

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
A roar of thuderous applause, begins with a single clap
A single plunge can take us to unimagined depths
A single tornado can result from a single flap
The single word we dare not face is simply, perhaps

The possibilities are endless
The countless thoughts relentless
Though all these may seem senseless
They are simply all our choices

Two paths diverge in the middle of the road
Travelers bearing choice as a common load
The path not traveled will never be unknown
We'll simply read what we have sown

Perhaps we'll never know the day after tomorrow
Perhaps we'll always look back in sorrow
Perhaps we could in painful regret wallow
Perhapds we'll find regret is simply hollow
But we can never from yesterday borrow

Perhaps she is the one
Perhaps I'll be number one
Perhaps one day I'll be happy
Perhaps one day I'll be merry
Perhaps one day he'll make me happy
Perhaps one day there'll be no perhaps

Perhaps we'll never know the day after tomorrow
Perhaps we'll always look back in sorrow
Perhaps we could in painful regret wallow
Perhapds we'll find regret is simply hollow
But we can never from yesterday borrow

Words by Gabriel Koh
Music by Lin Junwen

Yes, that was how the original first verse went. It was one whole verse before it was split into two smaller verses. (comments enabled)

Practice this week...

There will be practice this week, at 6.30pm. Please be reminded that it will be in the Sanctuary, since the Mandarin ministry will still be using Aldersgate Hall for a few more weeks.

We will be having a new worship leader this week, that's Daryl! He will co-lead with me.

This week is the 3rd Saturday, so there will be Bible Study. I will be continuing the series on the Beattitudes. All are welcome.

Random Quotes...

Meaningless post, highlight, if you want to read.

Like Ber, I can't seem to study, but unlike him, I'm not going to do quizes. (Yes, unbelievable as it sounds, Ber updated!!) Some random stuff...

"Mathematicians have no life" - Dr Tan Kai Meng, Valentine's Day 2004. To a bunch of mathematicians wannabes who were at a 12noon Saturday Lecture.

"Keep cool and calm!!" - Prof Koh Khee Meng, at every other lecture.

"To me, probability and statistics is the same thing" - A/P To Wing Keung, on his obvious lack of knowledge on probability and statistics.

"Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes." - Mickey Mouse

"Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics." - Simeon Poisson

"Do or do not, there is no try." - Yoda. Yup, must try to get my study regime started. There's MA4211 Funcitonal Analysis test on friday... *bleah*

"The best way to get over it is to move on right?" - Kelvin Tan

"This is not going to be shown during FT right?" - choosing to remain anonymous

A call for unity

As you all can see, there have been some minor, but important, layout changes. To better reflect what this blog is about.

I guess over time, this blog is being read more and more by the VCFers rather than the PMC Youth, to call it a PMC Youth Worship Team blog is getting a bit wierd. And in more circles, its getting to be known as "Marcus' blog" rather than the One Voice Blog. Well, go with the flow.

I've removed the words "Pentecost Methodist Church Youth Worship Team" and replaced it with the words of Jesus. In John 17, Jesus makes a very powerful and important prayer. And that particular section above is His prayer for us believers, a prayer for unity, so that through this unity, God will be glorified and the world will come to believe.

I've also removed the Team Verse from the footer, and replaced it with the words of the song, One Voice. A call for unity.

The number 1, has a speical place in mathematics. (It my blog after all right??? And I've not had a maths-like post for a while). In Abstract Algebra, the symbol 1 refers to the multiplicative identity in Rings (and Fields, since fields are rings). And simply as the identity in Groups.

In number theory, the 1 is sometimes refered to as "unity". In complex analysis, the nth-roots (eg squareroot, cuberoot and higher) of the complex number 1 are called the nth roots of unity.

In that case, the term "One Voice", is simply the call to unite our voices and declare the Gospel of Jesus to the world. That was Jesus' prayer.

Jesus, loves me this I know

If you guys are wondering what my good friend Kelvin Tan is saying on the tagboard, I've removed that particular post. Will post it up again, maybe, some other time. :)

Just want to share this simple song, written a really long time ago. Originally as a poem. Simple in meaning, and easy to grasp, just sing it, when you are feeling down, and see the truth in it. I've managed to find all the verses, even those not commonly found in hymnals.

Jesus loves me this I know

Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong

Jesus loves me this I know
As He loved so long ago
Taking children on His knee
Saying, "Let them come to me!"

Jesus loves me still today
Walking with me on my way
Wanting as a friend to give
Light and love to all who live

Jesus loves me! Loves me still
Though I'm very weak and ill
That I might from sin be free
Bled and died upon that tree

Jesus loves me! He who died
Heaven's gate to open wide
He will wash away my sins
Let His little child come in

Jesus love me! He wil stay
Close beside me all the way
Thou hast bled and died for me
I will henceforth live for Thee

Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so

I think as a leader, I always complicated matters. Doesn't help that I study a very complicated subject. But I think as Christians, we also complicate matters. But our faith is simple to grasp.

Jesus loves us. He bled and died for us. And He rose from the grave, and one day, He will come back to rule!

That's the simple truth of it all.

Choose

What am I going to do
After graduating
I think it gets a bit frustrating

Because they say
All for the money thats the route
Does greed really pay?
Isn't it the root?

Maybe satisfaction is the key
Something fine, something fun
But is it all about me
When it's all said and done

What about making life count?
What about leaving a print?
Something precious to recount
From life's short stint

But I guess I'll choose the lucre after all
How can we resist the world's siren call

Word by Joshua Sng
Music by Mark Szto

Been very depressed the last few days. And this song is really about how I feel at the moment. I'm sick, I lost my voice, I have a seriously bad cough and my results this sem, well, they suck quite badly. Failed a math test this semester, that's the 3rd time in my life that I've failed a math test. And it is really frightening to think that in 18 days time, I will graduate. This life is just passing by too fast.

Is it finished?

Spun. Fallen.

Seems like the main part of this BCE project has come to an end. But is it really over? The appreciation barbeque was yesterday, at Amber Park.

It brought back so many memories on so many different levels. From seeing the DVD video of the musical, it reminded me of the crazy semester so far. From staying back almost everyday in January to compose songs at TH, to the rehearsals at engineering bridge and SJSM and finally to the performances.

It has been a long journey. At times overwhelming, many times, heartbreaking, and other times, it has brought relief to my very worn out soul. But above all, I’ve seen what prayer and the power of God can do! HE IS ALIVE!

The BBQ also brought back memories of my childhood. Standing at the BBQ pit seemed so familiar. It was like being at home, yet not quite. Everything looks so much smaller than it was 11 years ago when I left that place.

It was really great meeting the some of the old cycling gang; and reminiscing about the stupid things we did, like digging sand-traps, throwing water-bombs off the 17th floor, racing the school buses and the super soaker fights!And it’s unbelievable that after 14 years, Hongren can still remember that thing between me and Min Yin… gosh… so scandalous. Well, I really wonder where she is now.
Well, all this will fade into history and memory. The musical did bring VCFers from all over together. And 2 were added to the Kingdom that night! But when all is said and done, there is just one thing that matters, and that is Jesus died for us.

IT IS FINISHED. That what Jesus said on the cross. The war has been won, if you turn to back of the Bible, we know the outcome, WE WIN! But there are battles to fight still.

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” – 2 Tim 4:7

Well, the race is far from over... but I know the outcome already!

When it should have been me

A shadow loomed against the hill
The shadow of a cross
A frame against the setting sun
A place called Calvary
A man was nailed onto that tree
Blood flowing from His wounds
A crown of thorns around His head
He hung in agony

And I know He gave up His life
In selfless sacrifice
To save a sinner who was lost
Deceived by satan’s lies
The shame, the wounds, the pain He bore
So I from sin am free
He was the one upon that Cross
When it should have been me

His name was Jesus Christ the Lord
He was the Son of God
A blameless, sinless He led
Yet why that cruel death?
The Jews, the scribes, the Pharisees
The Roman soldiers too
They mocked, they laughed and taunted Him
Until His final breath

Wrapped up and buried in a tomb
It seemed to be the end
But He was raised up from the grave
And now He lives again
He said if I believe in Him
I’d live forevermore
He offers me His righteousness
A gift for me to claim

The gates of hell were open wide
Waiting for me to enter in
But Jesus found a way to save my soul
A way to bring me back to Him

And I know He gave up His life
In selfless sacrifice
To save a sinner who was lost
Deceived by satan’s lies
The shame, the wounds, the pain He bore
So I from sin am free
He was the one upon that Cross
When it should have been me

O Lord, You went up on that Cross
When it should have been me

© Words and music by Ang Ruiyi