All for love...

Was watching the "United - Look to You" behind the scenes video and there was this clip of Joel Houston where he said something like, "At what point do you start relying on your own strength because you take what God has given and His grace for granted? And at what point do you come to realised that you have to rely on God?"

Those words struck me hard. And as I watched the rest of the video, I realised that their new album nearly did not happen, the usual band was all over the world, rehearsals were pretty much last minute and new songs were coming in all the way to the eleventh hour.

It immediately brought back memories of the VCF musical. The similarities were too striking. But I guess at some point, in our burnt out state, we started to realise that we needed to lean on God for strength and surrender our skills to Him.

The past 3 months have been one of the longest and tiring in my life. But life still goes on. And now, after basically neglecting the Youth Ministry for the past few months, it's time to come back and take a larger role in it again.

One Voice is longer the same team it was, reduced to half it size in last few months, there is no hiding the fact that something new needs to be done. But the time for recruitment has not yet come.

As a worship team, the biggest struggle we face is pride; pride in our own abilities, pride in our own skills. At what point did we start relying on our own strength and take God's grace for granted?

At what point will we realise that the only way to move on is to drop, fall and decend into humility and let God take control. At that point, we will realise something, that we can go further than we were before.

It starts with us, coming to realise the cost He paid for us on the Cross. That was an act of humility and love. For us, so that we may follow Him. Every Sunday, when we lead the youth in worship, we must be hollow, so that the love of Christ can shine through us, and not be stopped by us.

All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For Love was crucified

All for love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw Man to You

(C) Words by Mia Fieldes

I can't believe...

... you're part of the past...

Hard to imagine that Falling Spinning was exactly a week ago. I guess the musical spoke to each of the individual cast members and musicians in their own ways. Somehow each one was able to identify with a certain character or song.

Personally, at times, I felt like Leah, out of love even cheated by love. At other times, like Mia, chasing grades, chasing a hope of getting into the honours class. But the character I could identify most is probably Ethan. Struggling to make sense in this world of nonsense.

But today, I was force to confront death, the same way all the characters had to deal with the death of Jude. Life is indeed short and fleeting and what you never treasured before may disappear before you even know it.

Just found out that my JC maths teacher passed away last week from cancer. It was a huge shock to me. He was only 54. He was a good teacher, and of course, an influence into what I am doing now.

His lagacy has been passed on, I'm sure. He authored many of the textbooks that about 90% of Singapore schools use. And like me, I am sure many of his former students are going to be teachers. Or already are.

But he died without the covering of Jesus' blood. I will never see him again. That's sad. I heard that a few students cried when they saw the state of his body, ravaged by cancer. Tough. Hard to imagine that he was still fit and strong 7 years ago.

This is death cold and chilling
No escape for all still living

No fate but what we make???

This is a post that should probably be in my personal journal or something. But I will put it here for keepsake.

It seems like wherever I go, the theme verse of the musical keeps coming back. Whether at the engin bridge, or in church or even at Synerg!z, the message is still the same. We need to die to our self, so new life; eternal life, can spring forth.

Just got home from Pasir Ris. Felt like déjà vu. It was only last semester, when making a detour home from school to Pasir Ris was the norm. Guess some things are just not meant to be anymore.

Was looking through my Bible, and I noticed some hand-notes scribbled into the margin. One read, “There are many things that need interpretation, but more than that, things need obedience.”

How apt that one of the speaker sessions today was on obedience. Honestly, I cannot remember one-quarter of what was said today, but what matters is what God said to me! But that is a little to private to put up here.

“The next step in your destiny WILL include something you don’t want to do.”

A few weeks ago, I had to do something I did not want to do. It hurt badly to give it up. And surrendering to God’s will was a difficult decision to make. But I had to give it up slowly in the end. Today, the tears just flowed; and God’s voice was loud and clear.

I finally took the picture of the VCF music min away from my bedside table. The one taken at the Arts musical, “No greater Love”, 2 years ago. Let go, move on.

In its place is the picture of the Youth Ministry, a shot taken by Alvin at GAP Camp. One that he gave me for Christmas. Letting go, moving on.

That is the price for obedience, pain and suffering. That was the price Jesus paid in obedience to the Father. The pain and suffering of scourging and crucifixion for the sins of the world; for my sins.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” – John 3:16

The following song has comforted and ministered to me every time it is being sung during musical rehearsal.

How deep the Father’s love for us.
How deep the Father’s love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds that mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that “it is finished”

I will not boast in anything
No gifts no power no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His Reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.

No practice

There will not be practice this week... due to Synerg!z.
But, there will be practice next week, details out soon.

WHO HAS MY SYNERG!Z 2004 CD??????? Please pass it to the next person!

"If you believe in such a "power", you might as well pray to an electric socket" - Rev Jonathan Seet. (In reference to mystical religious "powers" like "The Force" or "qi")

That is probably the quote of the day man!! HAHA!!
Will expand on that in the coming days.

A long goodbye...

I guess it's the point
Where I'll bid thee farewell
I guess now's the time
To take leave of the spell

So long to love and hope
So long to fairy tale
Go now these transient dreams
Fall now these blinding scales

Today's the day
I think I'll turn the other way
I've had my cry
Now I will say a long goodbye

Before the pain subsides
Before the memory beckons
After death has shaken
All is changed in a second

I'll part with innocence
So goes Eden's array
I'll make my exit here
From this world of dismay

No more delay
I think I liked the other way
I've had my cry
Now I will say a long goodbye

Thank You
You were the one
You helped me see
You always did
Now the romance is over
And the damage is done
No more movies
It's frightening
Reality has just begun
But am I free
Lifted off this debris?
True love's a fallacy

The end is nigh
Just just give a sigh
I will say my long goodbye

Words by Joshua Sng
Music by Mark Szto

I altered the lyrics of the original song, which was a duet, I guess to make it a better reflection of how I really feel now. The bitterness has subsided I guess. But the pain still remains; the wounds have yet to heal completely. But life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone...

8766 days...

Life is a bazaar they seem to say, shopping for things everyday. Life after graduating, is another crazy bazaar, looking for jobs, near and far.

The weight of age gets heavier and heavier everyday. Especially today.

Life goes on... it always will. Whether in this, or the next. Life will find a way.

So I ask myself, what have I done to deserve life? Nothing. What have I done to deserve eternal life? Nothing.

But I have them anyway. So I choose to rejoice and be glad. No matter the circumstance. No matter how hard life seems at the moment, I will choose to sing a song of joy.

Find me at the Cross

Here I stand forgiven
Here I stand, Holy and righteous
You paid the price
When You laid down Your life
Jesus I surrender all

And I'll walk with You in my heart
I'll walk with You in my heart
Find me at the Cross
Down on my knees
Thank You Lord for saving me

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hellelujah, Hallelujah
Here I stand forgiven

(C) written by Chris O'Brien

24 years, I've walked this earth. I do not know how many more will I be given. But I know where this journey is going. It's good to know that I don't walk this journey alone.

Born Loser?

The Story of Gideon, You & Me - Judges 6

Studied 8 years for PSLE, then 5 years for GCE O Levels, and now, still studying to make up for not doing well at the Os. Talk about been a born loser, I’m one… Are you able to identify with me or at least sympathize with me…or what?

Hey, don’t judge me. These words would always echo in my brain again and again whenever I’m met with disappointment. Even worse, it became a stigma along the way.

Even as I grow older each year, somehow the fact of getting “bad results” in the past would still haunt me, even now! However, as I look back at my life’s journey, it doesn’t seem to be that “bad” after all. Well, for one, at least I’m well, happy and alive today.

Then the Lord turned to him and said, “Go with the strength you have and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!” “But Lord,” Gideon replied, “how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!” – Judges 6:14-15

Out of the many Heroes and characters in the Bible, I can identify best with Gideon. Like me, Gideon was a born loser, the least significant among his peers and not to mention that he was also the weakest among his people (least talented). Whoa! Sounds a lot like you & me right!

Then the turning point came when God sent His angel to commission Gideon to save the nation of Israel out of its enemy’s hand. At that point, it might have crossed Gideon’s mind that God was making a joke out of his misery.

But thank God, He wasn’t! And this actually helped to shed some light on my path (go read the rest of the story for yourself). Gideon trusted God after much testing of his faith and he proceeded to be one of the most noted Bible heroes at the end of the day. What a beautiful ending! What a hope this brings to all losers out there!

Lessons to draw out from the story of Gideon

1) We are not “losers” in God’s sight and so don’t you dare judge me or yourself!

2) Failures are stepping stones in life to help us experience God in a more tangible (real) way; we will become more mature in Christ after overcoming each failure.

3) We must continue to trust God even if things don’t go well for us. This will show us how much we really love God. A time of personal reflection and re-dedication to Christ.

(4) Lastly, it is our choice to be more than Conquerors or to stick to the “fate of a born loser”. Each of us can take failure or loss in a specified way: a graceful loser or a poor loser.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. – Romans 8:28

Joshua Loo - Born a Loser but living as a Conqueror

apologies...

My apologies for not yet sorting out the roster. Not used to doing this kind of things. But I will get it done by Thursday evening. One Voice members, please check your emails on Friday.

I can only imagine

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face is before
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You, Jesus?
Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine,
I can only imagine!

I can only imagine
When the day comes
When I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You

(C) Words and Music by Bart Millard

We get distracted by the things of today so often, that we forget to look the forever tomorrow. Imagining what it could be like, to have better results, to get the girl of my dreams, to get the Ph.D, to get that great guitar or bass, to get a dream car. We imagine to much in things that are temporal and forget about the things that will last into eternity.

What will it be like, when this life is going to end. And we look back at our youth and widner why we were so stupid to put our hope and desires of things which really seem so stupid on hindsight.

I used to lie awake at night thinking about the moment on my death bed, when I cross into etrnity. What if it doesn't happen that way? Perhaps I may die in a crueller way! Those thoughts use to frighten the hell out of me.

Often, we would think about the "what ifs" of life. What if I had better results? What if I had gotten that girl/boy? And we are all consumed by it. Consumed by the things that will fade. We treat life so flippantly.

I think there is a better way to spend our time. To think about the forever, eternity, infinity. What it will be like in heaven? What will it be like after I die? that thought used to frighten me, now they will me will joy.

I can only imagine what it will be like in heaven, at this present time in my life. But at least I know, one day, I will be going there.