MUSHY-maro

(WARNING: VERY LONG POST)

All my posts so far have been so serious, so I thought I provide some “comic relief”. Well, don’t worry this isn’t a post on mathematics; it’s on something entirely different. I had good laugh while writing it, I hope you will have a good laugh while you read it. But remember at the end of it all, I do hope that you take the message seriously.

Felt convicted to write this last Friday (22 Oct) just before my complex analysis lecture (sorry… just had to add that in!). Anyway, I find it ironic for a guy who has never been attached to have to share his “BGR story” or rather, his lack of it. But, when God asks you to do something, don’t ask why, just do!

Well, as you can tell, this post is about BGR (got your attention now?), and what I have learnt in the time of loneliness that I have. I was given 2 books for my birthday. “Choosing God’s best” and “Boy meets Girl” And since they were given to me in March, they have laid on my bedside table, almost untouched.

Well, actually I did try to read “Choosing God’s Best” but I stopped at the chapter on celibacy; have to say that it spoke to me quite a bit. (OK… not a bit, more like ‘a lot’) After that, I decided to stop reading the book. And both books have been on my table untouched, until recently.

And what happened recently? Well, been in a weird situation recently, it’s like déjà vu, but yet a little different from the last time. Not knowing what to do, I prayed. And out of blue, my friend from school messaged me a verse! Psalms 37:4. It was like as though an instruction manual had been dropped on my lap; it seemed so obvious what God wanted me to do. That was how much that verse spoke to me!

But more was to come! A week after that, I flipped open the front cover of “Choosing God’s Best” and there was a handwritten note by the people who bought me the book; and at the end of the note was a verse. Guess what verse? Psalms 37:4! So I said, “OK God, I know you want me to read this, so I will read it.”

It took me 3 painful weeks to read; and at the end of that, I read “Boy Meets Girl”. The latter was a lot easier to read (pretty funny too); I read it in 1 day! And that day was last Friday, when I felt I needed to share my story with all of you. So, here it goes! Laugh all you want!!!

My story so far
Well, I’m 23 and have been unattached all my life! (I will be 24 soon, just compare that with AmBer, sorry…)
I have NEVER been on a date before! (Well, I have been out with girls one on one before, but I won’t consider them dates… just ask Amy… sorry Ber)
I don’t like going out
I don’t like talking on the phone
I usually watch movies alone
And the list goes on!!!

And the best part is (couldn’t contain my laughter here) I have ever only told one girl (directly) that I liked her. And it took me 11 YEARS; yes let me say that again ELEVEN YEARS to muster the courage to tell her! HA HA HA!!!

She was a primary school classmate. Same bus, same class till primary 4. I sat next to her in Primary 4; and I liked her then! (It was like a scandal in my class and school bus) After Tao Nan, she went to Dunman High and I ended up in Tanjong Katong Secondary School. Lost contact with her but met her once in a while during Teacher’s day. In 1997, I saw her at the VJC Open House, had a nice chat with her, but I never saw or spoke to her again after that, for a long time.

To cut a really long story short, a mutual friend of ours managed to put us in contact again via ICQ. And that was when I finally told her. I finally met her again in NUS in September 2002. I really would have asked her out, but when I prayed, God said, “no”. I was very sad.

But I know why God said no; she wasn’t a Christian. And I knew that if I went out with her, it would have been the end of me. God was protecting me.

“God, I like her a lot. Is she dropping me hints? Does she like me too? Is she the one? What should I do? O God please help me!”

Sound familiar? Well, I believe most if not all guys would have made that prayer before. Or at least something that sounds like that! Let me share what I have learnt, from the perspective of a single guy. (There’s actually a lot more that I would have loved to add in. But I will leave that to another time; so, here it goes.)

God’s timing
One thing that I have experienced all my life is that God’s timing is immaculate. And our timing; cannot make it. Our human nature makes us long for the company of the opposite sex. And more often than not, our own human impatience takes the better of us and we try to find a partner on our own power.

What happens after? If it doesn’t work out, you break up, cry a lot and are scarred emotionally for life. And you bring this excess baggage into the next relationship and eventually into your marriage. Do you really want that?

I believe that God will give each of us a partner and a companion in His own time; if we learn to trust Him. But before we can ask who we are going to marry, I think we need to ask another preliminary question, “Are we meant to marry in the first place?”.

Celibacy is a Spiritual Gift. (1 Cor 7:7) People who are perpetually lonely as singles are usually the same ones who are worried about what isn’t happening to them instead of thinking of what they should be doing during this season of single-hood to minister to another. Their focus is inward not upward.

For some of us (like me) this season may last a long time. Instead of getting caught up in trying to find someone before your biological clock goes downhill, ask God why you are alone and what He wants you to do about it.

But not all of us are meant to be alone. In that case, trust God. He will guide you to someone who is best for you. So what should you do in the mean time?

Well, instead of trying to get closer to the girl of your dreams, get closer to God and slowly discern His will for you. Instead of finding someone of your dreams, try being the someone your dream will want.

Guard your heart
(Note: In this section, the word fellowship is used in a very general sense)

Guard your heart and guard the heart of your fellow brother or sister. Extended times of fellowship with one another is great, but it can be potentially damaging.

Such extended times together will certainly mean getting emotionally and spiritually involved with another person. Personally, I feel that this kind of relationship gets very unhealthy if it is one on one and between 2 people of the opposite sex. There is no precedent in the Bible about a one-on-one accountability kind of relationship between a man and woman, unless they were married.

There is nothing wrong fellowshipping with another person of the opposite sex one-to-one, but let the boundaries be known. And make sure they are adhered to. The emotional attachments formed can lead to a really bad scar on your emotions if such a friendship ends or goes through bad times. Remember the paper which Ber tore up each time Alvin insulted him? It’s a lot like that.

I was in such a situation 3 years ago. I let my guard down. And at the end of it all, it hurt. Guys, if a girl is nice to you, don’t automatically assume she likes you; we have a tendency to do that. Girls, don’t be too nice to guys and read Proverbs 31.

Don’t let your guard down. And guard the heart of your fellow brother and sister. Keep each other pure for the person that each of you will eventually marry. Don’t bring the emotional and spiritual scars into your marriage.

The rest of my story
Looking back, I thank God that I have been unattached so long. If not, I don’t think I would be able to serve Him that way I am doing now; in VCF, in One Voice, in YM. Either that or I think I would have gone through a few break ups, something which I don’t think I would handle very well.

There was a purpose for me to remain single, and I don’t think I will trade the blessings that I have received so far for any relationship.

So what is in it for me now? Well, after reading those 2 books, one thing I know for sure is that I am not ready, in my heart or mind, for a girlfriend. And God knows it. My Saturdays and Sundays are so badly burned I cannot possibly maintain such a relationship. In fact, I’m still trying to figure out whether God has indeed given me the gift of celibacy. Never ever been able to relate well with the opposite sex; kind of uncomfortable around them; still am.

So don’t worry about me. If it is God’s will, in time, the courage and the opportunity will arise, and mashimaro will find his carrot.

“God, I like her a lot. Is she dropping me hints? Does she like me too? Is she the one?”
“Wait. You will know that one day.”

“Huh? Okaaay… then what should I do now?”
“Just be there for her.”

“Alright, that I can do.”

Grow old with you

I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is back
All I wanna do, is grow old with you

I get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
It could be so nice, growing old with you

I’ll miss you, kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you, feed you
Even let you hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink
Oh I could be the man, who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

© Words and Music by Adam Sandler
OST The Wedding Singer

(Ber will write part 2, where he will share his perspective. Watch for it on his blog. Right Ber?)

No Practice this week

There is 17up this week. So there will not be any practice. Charlie is speaking on Salvation. All are welcome to attend.

All that I want

The new planet shakers live album "All that I want" has reached Singapore. It is available at trumpet praise.

This album contains the live versions of the songs "Everything's changed" , "Running after You" and "Rain Down". As well as a DVD... yet to check the DVD out. Will edit this post once I have done so.

No Practice This week

There won't be practice this week. Study Hard.

Practice this week

There will be practice this week. Aldersgate Hall 6.30pm. Nick will be leading. I will be continuing the series on Galatians 5:25. I will post the summary of the discussion of what we did the last time.

Some "homework". Read Galatians Chapter 5. I don't think I will be done with that chapter by the end of this week.

DGers, in light of the discussion last week, you are more than welcome to sit in... right? So Ber... drag Amy down!!!!

Hole in the World

Hole in the World
There's a hole in the world tonight
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow
There's a hole in the world tonight
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow

They say anger is just love disappointed
They say love is just a state of mind
But all this fighting over who is anointed
Oh, how can people be so blind

There's a hole in the world tonight
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow
There's a hole in the world tonight
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow

Oh, they tell me there's a place over yonder
Cool water running through the burning sand
Until we learn to love one another
We will never reach the promise land

There's a hole in the world tonight
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow
There's a hole in the world tonight
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow

(C) Words and Music by Don Henley and Glen Frey
The Eagles

Equations of Love

I think I better post something less contraversial this time...

SO... It was bound to happen, sooner or later! A post about mathematics!!! :D

Last Sunday, Meixi asked me an interesting question, "I want to see God in mathematics". Hah! Trust me to answer that question!

My answer was simple, "What shape does the x-axis and the y-axis make?" Well, the answer is A CROSS! :D

Somemore? Look at each point within the cartesian plane, it is represented by an order pair (x,y). But what is x and what is y? They have to take reference to a certain point isn't it? That point is the origin.

So similarly, we are like points in time and space, we need to take our reference with respect to the origin, that is God!

Well, in the past week, I decided to put my mind to work in this direction, and this is what I came up with. Read it, quite interesting.

Convergence to God
A sequence {x(n)} converges to a x if for all ε>0, there exist a natural number N, such that for all n>N, d(x(n), x) <ε

x represents God. d(x(n), x) is distance from God.
Think about it in this way, each x(n) represents an event in your life, and (n) is the time that passes. In the earlier part of our lives, the distance between each x(n) and x may flactuate a lot, but eventually there come a certain point of time (N), whenthe distance becomes small.

Let us converge to God, so for whatever sin we commit, there has to come a point in time where we must not stray too far from Him.

The Church is like an Abelian Group
With binary operation "love"

Love is associative and commutative. (First 2 axioms satisfied)

God is the identity, because God is a God of Love (Axiom 3 satisfied)

Cluster Point
God is like a cluster point, draw a circle around Him, and its never empty. Somehow and somewhere, there is someone who loves God and will never stray too far from Him.

Cauchy Sequence
Let (X,d) be a complete metric space. Let {x(n)} be a convergent sequence in (X,d) convergent to G.

The Church is like the sequence with limit being God.

It is convergent (see above)

And it is Cauchy, therefore not just does the tail end of the sequence converge to God, the ditance between its indivudual members is also close. In other words, relationships within the Church are supposed to be warm.

Linear Algebra
Jesus is like th Identity Matrix, in Him we find our identity

The determinant is faith. Without the deternimant, there is no identity. Without Faith there is no trust in Jesus. But if it exist, then we can find the identity (Jesus!)

The Gospel is the Basis. It is from which our life in Christ is built upon.

Gauss-Jordan Elimination (GJE) is like the conviction of sin.
GJE converts any matrix into the Identity. Similarly, the conviction of sin is to transform us to be more Christlike.

Complex Analysis
Salvation is like Complex Analysis, its sounds difficult, but in reality is very simple!

"I've always believed in numbers and the equations and logics that lead to reason. But after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask myself, 'What truly is logic? Who decides reason?' My quest has taken me to through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional - and back. And I have made the most important discovery of my career. the most important discovery of my life:

It is only in the mysterious equations of LOVE that any logic or reason can be found. You are the reason I am, You are all my reasons." - A Beautiful Mind

Most of the time when we study, we just look at a subject as a subject. How many time to we actually go deeper and try to see God's hand in that subject.

Many of you dislike mathematics as it seems so abstract and hardly any applications. Well, then let me challenge you, to find those mysterious equations of love in the sums you do. And you will see maths differently. Above, is just a small example.

As the examination period draws near, do that with all your subjects. Instead of studying a subject for its content; look at it as studying the work of the Master Creator.

Blessed be Your Name

Just want to share the following song.

Blessed be Your Name
Blessed be Your Name, in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your Name
Blessed be Your Name when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your Name

Every blessing You pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the Name of the Lord
Blessed be Your Name
Blessed be the Name of the Lord
Blessed be your Glorious Name

Blessed be Your Name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be Your Name
Blessed be Your Name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the suffering
Blessed be your Name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your Name!

(C) Words and Music by Beth and Matt Redman

Fun, goodtimes, laughter, peace, joy, happiness, camps, being arounds friends, being with the one you love, holidays etc. It is easy to give praise and thanksgiving to God and shout "Blessed be YOUR Name" during such times.

But when the bad results come, relationships with friends get strained, pressures of the world starts to surround us, exams, A levels, O levels, PSLE, projects etc. Can we still give praise to God? Can we still shout "Blessed be YOUR Name" and thanks Him for giving us life?

Our attitude should be like that of the lyrics of the song. Giving the blessing that we have back to the LORD. And even through the darkest of times, the most painful of hardships and the most severe of trials, still let us say "Blessed be YOUR Name!"

Remember, we have the greatest blessing of all already. Jesus died for us and because of that we will live forevermore!

If you are born once, you will die twice
But if you are born twice, you will die only once.