270606

verses read: Psalm 49

Almost one third through the book; should take a few more months though. But slow and steady is good compared to read a lot and stop halfway.

The past two days in school has been good. And to some extent pretty enjoyable, but the challenge has not yet come, that will come in two weeks time.

*rest of this post is in the my private journal*

Your Grace is enough

Great is Your faithfulness O God
You wrestles with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters into mercy
And nothing can keep us apart

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise O God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enouhg for me

Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along

Your grace is enough
Heaven reaching down to us
Your grace is enough for me
God I sing Your grace is enough
I'm covered in Your love
Your grace is enough for me

(C) Chris Tomlin

Tomorrow is going to be a major milestone in my life. For all the horror stories I've heard in the last two days, I will still persevere. And to some extent I am looking forward to all this.

Will most likely be temporarily stop all my postings for privacy reasons until after my school experience. Might still post recipes though.

240606

verses read: Psalm 46

What a beautiful Psalm to read at a time like this. A calm inducing Psalm, even though war and destruction seems to be around the corner. Tried out the techniques I learnt at the TPP on the BB guys at Springfield today, and amazingly, it worked! Albeit, it was a much smaller group, and they are supposed to be a disciplined bunch, so I guess I will have to scale up everything come Monday.

What a beautiful Psalm to read, especially on this day. Twenty fourth of June, two four six, easy to remember, but at times, I rather forget. But the lessons of the last year has proved very invaluable to me. At least, I’ve begun to understand that “God’s Will” isn’t the end of all things.

How many times have I thought that God’s Will will always prevail no matter what, I now know that I am actually very wrong. God’s Will is good and pleasing, but yet, God’s Will is no match to man’s free will. We have been given freedom, and because of that, we can and many times choose to defy God. And I guess, no one has really told me what to do after that when that happens. But at least, now I know that there is something else more magnificent than God’s Will.

The past year has been filled with the highest of high, to the deepest of ocean valleys for me. Perhaps that was why the very first song I sang when I returned to worship leading this year was indescribable. Perhaps that is why I’ve learnt the hard way that all those books you read about kissing dating goodbye and Choosing God’s Best are pretty one sided.

So what happens when you end up with someone who is not of God’s will, or more likely what happens when you break those rules? At one of the lowest moments last December, God did send someone, someone wise who told me that without commitment in a relationship; God’s Will is pretty useless. And it was only after so many months of prayer that I’ve learnt how to deal with those mistakes.

Beyond God’s Will, there is something called God’s grace. It was so simple, yet it eluded me for so long. For that is the place where salvation had its origin, the very beginning of things.

For paper hearts that were never made
For beautiful plans that were never laid
For best friends that never talk
For a heart, like a rose on a broken stalk
For love in a buried container
For keys lost, I cannot remember
For seeing the Lord close the door
For moving too fast to things in store
For a time to mark one year
For a blessing that once was near
For trying to find my way again
For struggling with the lingering pain
For when I didn’t play the part
For when God said, “Don’t give up!”
For finding of His Will within
For seeing the depth of sin
For the times I defied His Will
For eating it’s bitter pill
I’ve found my way again, by seeing His face
And by beholding the glory of His Grace

The time has finally come, it is upon me. Just slightly over one more day, and I will move on into where the Lord has called. It’s going to be tough, people have been pouring cold water on my head, but I go into this without illusions of grandeur. I’ve slacked too much this year, I’ve given my past teacher too much headache, and so, it’s time to pay my dues. Exciting, yet sobering.

210606

verses read: Psalm 43

Well, got my school posting. Monday will be very interesting indeed. It’s interesting to note that all my schools start with the same letter. All I will say is that at least I will have the luxury of getting up a little later the next four weeks, after that it will be all the way back to NIE again. Exciting, yet somehow, there is some strange and profound sense of loss.

Feeling a bit sick all of a sudden, I think it’s the swim I had today. The water was a bit “green”. Not sure if it was too much chlorine or a lack of it, or if it was rain water that the filters had not yet processed. Not good on the third day of work.

190606

verses read: Psalm 41

First day at “work”, all I did was queue up for my registration card, well, I’m paid quite well per hour, at least better than NS. Tomorrow will be my last official free day ever, then life gets quite exciting! Still haven’t gotten my school posting though.

Tried a bus ride home after matriculation, it was a mistake. Straight bus from Boon Lay to Bedok, but it took me two hours to get from bus interchange to my front door, wasn’t fun, especially after the long bus rides last week! Won’t do that again, but at least now there might be a possibility of a PMC-NTU car pool, that would save a bit of money.

Went to buy an Additional Mathematics ten year series, a five year series rather, it was just the last five years, November papers, new syllabus. Completed last year’s November paper, I’m quite disappointed honestly, took me almost one and a half hours to complete each of the papers, I should be much faster, just not used to looking at numbers anymore, I probably used the calculator more times today than in my whole NUS life. Both papers full marks, but just too slow, considering that I completed my C Math paper one in an hour during the A levels. Will need more practice to settle my SMPT in one try. Have to say that last year’s paper’s relative velocity question was quite tricky, took me a while to figure it out.

I’m quite sad at the new syllabus, so many important topics have now been shifted to A levels instead, stuff like APGP and double angle formulae. The last four years didn’t even feature a trigonometry identity proving question; maybe it is too mechanical. Instead, not very interesting topics like the dreaded relative velocity have been added in, deep in concept, but hardly appreciable at O levels; unless you wish to do nautical studies or something like that.

Will need to brush up on the new A level syllabus as well soon. I have to say that the new H3 syllabus is impressive; a lot of level 3000 mathematics stuff, will probably see a change in the NUS mathematics syllabus soon due to this.

110606

verses read: Psalm 35

Today was the first day in the chapel. But I don’t think I will write about that, after all, I’ve got the meeting recordings to remind me.

Want to write about the show “Contact”. It really is one of my top favourite shows of all time. I really enjoy watching it over and over again, mathematical yet theological, logical yet inspirational, explores science, yet explores faith. Very well written, I must buy the book. But it would probably be a tough read.

I would really like to know what happens if one day, a hardcore atheistic scientist were to have a scientific experience the likes of what was shown in the film; and have no evidence or proof to back it up. After all, science and mathematics are built up from empirical evidence and proofs. I like the way such an experience was portrayed in the movie, very akin to what we sometimes call a “religious experience”.

Like when we come to worship and we begin to cry, we know that we are not alone, we are created by God, we somehow know that there is a God. But yet, say all we want, we cannot prove His existence; that’s why it’s called faith.

090606

verses read: Psalm 33

Tomorrow is going to be a long day, have to sign the TTA in the morning, followed by Bible Olympiad meeting in church in the afternoon, One Voice leaders meeting and finally One Voice massive rehearsal at night. And it doesn’t stop there, the next day will be a milestone for YMPACT. One that some of us have waited for for a long time.

Was having a strange thought as I drove to church this evening, when I passed Downtown East. It occurred to me that it was two years since Synerg!z 2004, the one where I got quite a lot of weird looks as I wasn’t alone. Well, memories, brought a smile to my face, the first genuine one is many years and one that came when my thoughts were lost in hopelessness again. I wonder if she will be at MOE tomorrow, it would really be interesting.

Pasta Sauce

As promised, here is the recipe. I took this while actually cooking the sauce for tonight's fellowship dinner. Here is what you need:

Ingredients:
Garlic, Onion, Carrot, Celery (chopped finely)
Bacon
Minced Beef (I used 1kg)
Minced Pork (1/4 kg)
Canned tomatoes
Tomato Sauce
Mushrooms
Some herbs

Believe it or not, I did not use add any oil or salt other that what is found in the ingredients above. But well, there are other tricks.



Begin by frying the bacon until the oil comes out. The bacon provides all the salt and oil you will need for the whole sauce.



When there is some oil from the bacon, add the garlic, onion, carrots and celery. Cook until some of the vegetable juices has come out. Add some water to help this along.



When the vegetables are about 75% of their original size add the mushrooms and cook until everything soft. Add some herbs at this stage, oregano, mixed Italian herbs and tarragon was what I added.



Add the meat cook until the meat has browned. Notice that the volume of the ingredients has not changed. Everything should "shrink".



Add the tomatoes and tomato sauce. Instead of canned tomatoes, you can use fresh tomatoes. But you will have to buy the really expensive deep red roma tomatoes, which cost something like a dollar each. And you will have to buy a lot and de-skin it before using, so it's quite a hassle.



No extra salt or oil added. All the salt and oil came mainly from the bacon and the canned tomatoes and tomato sauce. If you choose to use fresh tomatoes, you will definately need to add some salt, and even some sugar get rid of the bitter taste.

Enjoy!

010606

verses read: Psalm 25

Finally got through the NUS website to order my academic gown, that’s after three days of trying! Now can set my mind at ease a bit more. 19 more days before I matriculate into NIE, will be quite something. Had a really good dinner last night! My stomach is really upside down now, not had such oily food in such a long time!

Yesterday’s meeting went well, I was looking forward to it for a variety of reasons. But there was a meeting within a meeting and after that, I really didn’t know what else to do. This has not happened once, but three times, each time under similar circumstances, and each time the message is the same. Don’t give up, don’t lose hope. Still have five more weeks to go before I collect my degree scroll. Can a life be changed within that amount of time? I’m quite sure it can.

Dear Lord, You give hope when I have none left. You know the impossible when my mind can only comprehend what is the obvious. You give love when there is none left to give. You make light, when the darkness surrounds. So Lord, this matter is in your hands, I’m done with the second guessing and the giving up, I will wait upon Your time so that I may see what is in store for me at the end of all this. So teach me to have the patience to wait upon You and Your plans. Amen.