291206

verses read: 1 Samuel 18-20

Home alone; parents have gone overseas. Amazingly, I have lost weight! Despite the Seoul Garden Dinner yesterday, and all the Christmas feasting, my weight has actually gone down.

Received a “good” Christmas present this year, it wasn’t something physical, but rather, it was “good” news. An answered prayer even, but then is it really something that I want answered favourably? Perhaps, perhaps not. After seeing some things yesterday, it is the season of my life to be alone. There is a big task that needs to be done, I wish I wasn’t the one to do it, but I am. But more importantly, need to sort some things out with myself first before moving on.

The new year beckons and a new milestone in life is fast approaching. I really wonder which school I will be posted to. For the first time in a long time, I’ve received advice from people beyond the CF or church circle. It was a good chat yesterday night; set many things in perspective. Go back to TK and it would be rewarding no doubt, but it would be tiring and not why I wanted to teach in the first place. Go to another school and it will be another set of problems. No choice is going to be ideal, just have to make it count. Read a blog that caught my eye about two months ago. And a large part of me wishes that I could go back to TMS, yet I doubt I would. It’s so heartbreaking to read something like that; yet it sounds so familiar.

The new year beckons and it will be an interesting one indeed. So Lord, send me where You need me and not where I want to go. For You know best and You’ve prepared that straight path for me already.

251206

verses read: 1 Samuel 9-17

It’s Christmas, and what a different Christmas is has been from the previous years. For the first time in a long time I can really feel the Christmas joy, rather than the loneliness of Christmas. Frantically wrote some Christmas cards yesterday and even today, before going to church! Got a lot of chocolates and cards as well. Too many chocolates in fact.

The last ten days have been a rush. The camp was definitely the highlight. I think I’ve clocked a record for the most number of days stayed in church this December, a total of 7 nights; 2 for the NTUCF retreat, 1 for TOFU and 4 for the camp. The new sofa is really nice and comfortable, the new shower areas are also really good! My back didn’t act up as much as before. But I guess it is also from the fact that my back is a lot stronger now due to all the gym work.

What can I say about the camp? The difference can really be felt when you have a dedicated team to stay in the background and cover the whole event in prayer. The response is so much different. And I guess having reached the age when you are not as effective, then that is the more important thing to do. Been compiling the evaluation forms the past few days, nothing unexpected.

Got my results back from NIE, nothing much, I’m probably the lowest in class. But that’s not unexpected as well; not that it matters. What matters is practicum next year.

Been eating too much as usual. Managed to loose weight during the camp. But the last few days have practically erased all that. Back to the gym for me this week. But how do you lose weight when you’ve got another party and an appreciation dinner at Seoul Garden coming up?

141206

verses read: 1 Samuel 8

It’s amazing how fast December always seems to fly past; before you know it half of it is already gone and there is more to come. And what has happened since the last entry? Had the final assessment for the Semester, which went pretty okay. Interestingly enough all the English teachers drew scenarios which were the toughest; that was a real test.

It’s only mid-December and I’ve already camped in church for 3 nights, and another 4 next week. The NTUCF retreat was just a break from everything, could lay back and take a little time off. But other than that it has been the usual December crunch. At least there is no carolling this year, that would be very tough.

AnnTiC has been happening the last few days, I really wonder how they are doing up north. I wonder if it would have been better for me to be there rather than here. But I guess the memories of last year’s AnnTiC would only re-surface and make things worse.

Camp is next week, followed by a long Christmas weekend. True rest starts then. Re-assignment takes place next year. And a big burden will be lifted from me, one that I’ve carried for too long now.

291106

verses read: Song of Songs 4

This is the first time I’m reading the Song of Solomon so slowly. I must say it is really beautiful poetry. Never noticed it before! Much more uplifting than the book of Lamentations.

Started going through the materials for this Saturday’s marathon Bible study session. Will break the material up into smaller pieces but the important long session still has to come in the morning.

Sitex begins tomorrow; looking for the travel charger for my phone, will be very handy in camp. Will be looking for a new laptop as well, albeit not for myself. Sad that apple has nothing new to offer so far, though rumours of a tablet from them have surfaced again! Hopefully by the time my laptop dies that one will be a reality!

291106

verses read: Song of Songs 4

This is the first time I’m reading the Song of Solomon so slowly. I must say it is really beautiful poetry. Never noticed it before! Much more uplifting than the book of Lamentations.

Started going through the materials for this Saturday’s marathon Bible study session. Will break the material up into smaller pieces but the important long session still has to come in the morning.

Sitex begins tomorrow; looking for the travel charger for my phone, will be very handy in camp. Will be looking for a new laptop as well, albeit not for myself. Sad that apple has nothing new to offer so far, though rumours of a tablet from them have surfaced again! Hopefully by the time my laptop dies that one will be a reality!

281106

verses read: Song of Songs 2-3

Well, I’m still feeling quite geeked out over yesterday’s events. I still can’t believe I was that dumb and slow. Today was a really slow day; didn’t do anything till I went to the gym. Bought two DVDs, one is one of my favourite movies of all time, and the other is for the DVD interest group. Badly needing my Diablo CDs back to get back online. Will be quite something to re-enter the gaming world; not just the computer game world, but the card gaming world as well. Need to “re-feel” the ground before going back to secondary school.

271106

verses read: Lamentations and Song of Songs 1

Since my last entry I’ve finished reading the Gospel of Luke and the book of Lamentations; very depressing read. So I decided on something a little better, the Song of Solomon. Much better read. Feeling a little poetic lately.

Well, today has been a very eye-opening day. I don’t know what adjectives and adverbs I can use to describe myself and my “slowness” on this. Only found out today, that my partner for the conversation section of the oral exam (see post 120406) for my Bahasa Indonesia course I did just before leaving NUS was the (get this…) former winner of the Miss Singapore Universe pageant! Imagine the shock I had when I found out. And why I didn’t find out earlier, I have no clue! Anyway, have to say that my stereotype of beauty queens has changed a bit, she is really very friendly in real life and the pictures you can find of her online, don’t really do her justice. She is much prettier in real life. Next question I am asking myself is why I’m even writing this into my journal?

More importantly, today, I finally received my SMMT (School Mathematics Mastery Test) results. I passed, THANK GOD! Now I can really enjoy my holidays and practicum a little more! The test was two hours; we had to do the equivalent of about two standard O level mathematics papers in that time. Not too difficult, except that the passing mark was a distinction not just 50%. The paper was okay, save for the terror statistics question, in which they decided to test the whole cohort on something called a “boxplot” some new statistical representation device which will be introduced into the syllabus soon. It is a really stupid representation, to over-simplified. It’s amazing, that we have to teach students how to use something that we don’t know how to use.

191106

verses read: Luke 12-23

Finally, the madness of the semester has died down, afford me a chance to update this journal. Not really kept up to date with updating this, but at least the reading is still consistent, even though it is still mere reading. No more assignments, and since I have no exams, my semester is essentially done, only one module left, only two more days of school left, one day per week till 1 December. And just one final assessment to which there is no way to study for it.

NIE is tiring, more tiring that any semester I had in NUS but I am not complaining, after all I am well paid to do what I do; cannot argue. The past few months here in NIE have been good, can’t say much about my tutors, but they will serve as example for me, both negative and positive though. I’m really looking forward to going back to a school next year, travelling is a real killer for me now.

The weekend has been interesting for me. Had a real God given opportunity to lead on the Doulos and it was fantastic! The lights literally went out halfway, what a powerful reminder of who God is! The experience was exactly like VCF days, or even the early days of One Voice when we struggled just to have everything working in order. But it seems strange, it is usually when things don’t go right that we truly appreciate the good things for what they are.

Revelations Study 1

This one is for the Flowerpots. Here are some helping questions to help answer those in the book. Or some extra additions on my own. In addition, in page 7 of the book there is a link to a website, you can also go to that website to get more help. But it won't be that much help.

Question 2
- Please don't give "yes" or "no" answers. Please give a reason or example as well. Read the newspapers, a lot of stuff there.

Question 3
- Read John 21, it might have a clue. Also, some of the crucifixion accounts of Jesus also provide a clue.

Question 4 and 6
- Read John 7, 15, 1 John 1 (interesting pattern eh?)

Question 5
- I think this one is pretty straight forward. But, please give me more than just "ancestral worship" or things to this effect. Tell me what you face as a Christian; and don't tell me DoTA or WoW either, that's too generic. Some struggle that is pulling you away from God, or an "easy way out".

Lastly, if you have additional questions to ask, please reply below. I won't entertain questions on MSN. Let's have a discussion here for everyone in the group to see. OK?

A change of seasons

It's is already November. Been a while since I've updated. Been updating my private journal, just not this blog. Nothing really interesting to update. Going to change the blog once again when I get the time.

051006

verses read: Psalm 131-141

It’s been a while since I’ve wrote anything to this journal. But I really have nothing to write. Workload is really very high. It is already October. Time flies so fast, can’t imagine it has been almost one year since I’ve kept this journal, will be closing it down soon. And keep a hardcopy one instead. Going to finish the book of Psalms soon, that is quite an achievement.

Read something last December that I should not have read. And now, just read something that I wish I had not read; did not have the choice in this one, it literally popped up. I wonder what it all means, yet I choose not to read deeper. Been four months since I did, and I really don’t want to spoil all that now. It really like the song that goes, “you always do this every time I get back on my feet.”

But then perhaps it is another answer from God. And it is really the same reply since almost exactly a year ago. And maybe an answer to a more recent prayer; a prayer on what I should do next week, when a symmetry in dates approach.

250906

Verses read: Psalm 130

Almost through the book of Psalms, which I started around the time I went to USA. That’s really long. Longer than Jeremiah, although Jeremiah is a lot wordier. This section are the songs of ascent. Interesting that I’m reading this and heard the sermon CD about the songs of ascent just this morning. Really good timing.

Yesterday was a weird day. Or rather I felt quite weird because of a certain incident. I wanted to do something I would normally not do, but as a result I would end up not doing something that I would usually do. As things turned out, I did what I normally did, though I did not want to do it, and ended up not doing what I wanted to do but wanted to.

Was a little disappointed after that, and I wondered to myself why I felt that way. Strange. It’s like déjà vu, the last time I felt like that was two years ago when I had some company going to and from NUS. Well, I really don’t know what these feelings are all about.

I wonder still perhaps if is not the absence of feelings that I previously claimed, but perhaps I’m denying or suppressing what is there. There must be more to this than what can be seen.

UPDATED!!

The TOFU Blog that is... check it out...

120906

verses read: 119 (somewhere in that chapter...)

I am really very tired. School work has been crazy. Nothing to update really, nothing much has been happening. Maybe except that the TOFU Team has been formed, that will really be interesting to watch.

Thinking of changing my blog again. Don’t want some people to read all these posts anymore. Besides, once I run out of space in my softcopy journal, I will be switching to offline hardcopy ones. Somehow writing it all by hand is still the best.

On another note, the next Apple keynote starts in slightly over an hour’s time. Which means I will have to wake up early to see what is going to happen. A new iPod? Well, I have my W700i now, which is essentially a 4GB iPod now! So I’m not too thrilled.

Happy Teachers' Day 2006

I usually post a song on teachers' day. This year, I think I will do something different. No song, just a reflection of what I have observed the last few months.

I realised I never shared the 4 weeks I spent in Temasek Secondary, so I guess its appropriate to do so here. But I won't share about my personal experiences, but rather other observations. One common question I kept getting asked when I was there was, "Are you sure you want to do this job?"

All who asked were pretty senior teachers who had taught for years. They all sounded like they were trying to discourage me from going further, but then I realised something else. They were still teaching. No matter how much pain the students had inflicted, no matter how many curses and insults were hurled at them, no matter how rude students were to them, they were still there. To me, that showed that the rewards were well worth the sacrifice.

I asked myself, "why do teachers cry?". Now I know.

They cry not because they are too emotional. They cry not because they are scared of their students. They cry not because they have lost control. They cry not because they are discouraged. They cry not because they have been misunderstood.

But they cry because they love their students. They cry because they see a life they love head down the path of destruction. They cry because they really do care, even though they seem not to.

The speaker said something interesting today:

"Make your marking an act of worship to God."

I know that in theory, but having it explicitly told to me was something else altogether. Teaching is more than a calling, it is a sacrifice, where the classroom is the altar.

*dedicated to the teachers of Temasek Secondary School, who taught someone like me where my place really is and for teaching me the depth of sacrifice*

Ceasar Salad

This is a repost of a previous post. Anyway, this is the recipe of the salad I made for the fellowship dinner this evening. Hope you all enjoyed it.

Now, on with the old post:

This is a salad that I've learnt to make when I was like in Primary 4 or 5. It's not that easy and it sure isn't cheap to make it youself. In fact it is probably one of those dishes which actually cost less when bought at a restaurant than when you make it at home. This of course is discounting the volume. Also, the ceasar salad you get at the restaurant doesn't really follow this recipe, they play cheat by using cream or mayonaise.

Anyway, here is how I make it:

Ingredients for the salad
- Rommaine Lettuce
- Tomatoes
- Olives
- Bacon bits
- Croutons

Unfortunately, when I was at cold storage the other day, they did not have a few of the ingredients above, so I had to improvise. Used, butterhead lettuce instead. And instead of using croutons, I prefer to us breadcrumbs, just put some stale (but not spoilt) bread in a food processor and spin away! And I ommitted the bacon altogether, due to excessive bak kwa during CNY. And I was just plain lazy to fry it. So here is what I used:



Combine the ingredients in a big bowl:



Now move on to the salad dressing. It's really expensive to make this dressing as anchovies are not cheaply available anymore. But I managed to find relatively cheap ones at the Kent Vale supermarket. So I bought like 3 tins! (Which would be the cost of one tin at Carrefour actually!) Commercial versions of this dressing use cream; that's wrong! Ceasar salad is an oil based dressing NOT a cream based one! The trick is making the oil look like cream, which I was unable to do until I acquired a food processor!

Here are the ingredients:
- Anchovies
- Capers
- One egg yolk
- Dijon Mustard
- Worcestshire sauce
- Red wine vinegar
- Olive Oil



I used to make this dressing by hand... to do so you will have to bash the anchovies and capers till they are totally in pieces. (Anchovies are the main ingredient by the way.) Add in the egg yolk and dijon mustard and stir until well mixed. Add in the worcestshire sauce and a few drops of the vinegar and mix well. Then as you are stirring, slowly pour in the in the oil; what you want to do is emulsify the oil, if this is not done correctly, the oil will seperate from the rest of the sauce, that is not what you want.

But with a food processor, I just replicate the above process, but in half the time and the consistency is a lot better. This is what you should get at the end of it all, as you can see the sauce will be quite creamy.



Add to the salad and toss it. The picture doesn't really do justice to it. It taste really good, you can ask my brother, I made this for Christmas as well, but with bacon.

Every beat of my heart

So here we stand
Anchored in hope
Letting the rain wash away every fear
Stars in the sky
Twinkle and shine
I pray they won't disappear
for the one who took the place...
Cos' I don't know where your journey goes
Or how long it will take to unfold
But as long as we keep this moment
Shining in the dark
I will be watching over
Every beat of your heart

I wish that time
Could be replayed
I'd keep you here with me everyday
They say that love is letting go
I hope that you find your way
...of the one who never was
Cos' I don't know where your journey goes
Or how long it will take to unfold
But as long as we keep this momemt
Shining in the dark
I know you'll be watching over
Every beat of my heart
...happy birthday Karen...
(C) Words and music by Corrine May

230806

Verses read: Psalm 101

Tomorrow is a rare free day for me. Better make full use of it before it disappears! Have to attend a meeting at the Bible House tomorrow. Tomorrow night is also the UDS, but I’m no longer in NUS, so I don’t think I will go down. Furthermore, don’t think I am prepared to go down.

The Fields Medal was presented yesterday to four (or is it three) young mathematicians. Was informed by A/P Fan during the tutorial today. He brought up the issue of the young 31 year old full professor at UCLA who got the medal and how he was a child prodigy and all and how me must spot such talent when we are in school and all.

Went home to read up on what happened, and what impressed me the most is not this 31 year old guy but the Russian mathematician who did not accept his medal! He’s mad! He was awarded the medal for a “proof” of the Poincare Conjecture. The “proof is still being refereed. I thought the Riemann hypothesis would fall before this one.

The conjecture states that every simply connected closed three-manifold is homeomorphic to the three-dimensional sphere. Amazingly, I actually understand that; not just that, it actually seems obvious, but yet has remained unproven for a hundred years, maybe till now. Well, if the proof is correct, he will be a million dollars richer. Even then, he was already awarded the Fields Medal. But his proof is actually even better, it proofs a generalisation of the Poincare conjecture. That’s pretty amazing.

But I’m still a little disappointed that this one fell before the Riemann Hypothesis. The effects of the Riemann Hypothesis would be more immediate compared to this one.

Anyway, another medal was awarded for bridging probability, representation theory and algebraic geometry! A relationship between the latter two I can see, but between probability? That’s quite amazing! That will certainly change the texture of how probability is taught. Perhaps Bertrand’s paradox will be solved next!

210806

verses read: Psalm 95-98

Wonder why I’ve not updated for so many days. Anyway, the last few days have been quite eventful compared the rest of the week. God timing is really something.

Got a new phone. Quite an interesting story; it was a good deal too. Used my mum’s plan to get a new phone, traded in some very old phones, my mum took my 6230i and I ended up with a W700i. In my opinion it’s an iPod Nano killer. The equaliser actually works; and included earpiece is pretty decent. Will wait for the IT fair coming up before getting some accessories and the 4GB memory card. I really hope it will be cheaper there.

On Saturday. Words cannot describe it. Met Pastor Aaron again after more than 8 months. It was really good to bump into him at the exact same spot as last December. I’m really happy that he is going to be a father soon. It seems like at the end of things, I’m getting to meet all the people whom I seem to have cut-out from my life to forget what lay behind. But is it the end of things or the beginning of something new?

Yesterday. The National Day Rally speech was quite something. No goodies, but why should we expect any? Nothing much about the teaching profession but a lot of hints into which direction things are going to take. A lot of good policies, but in my opinion a lot of sacred cows need to be slaughtered in order for them to work. One that will definitely suit the mood of the speech is the abolishment of the national examinations and rely instead on alternative assessment. If that happens, then real learning will take place. But well, perhaps that’s too big a cow to take on, for now.

Today was a pretty slack day, but it will be my last one-lesson Monday. Woke up to quite a bad dream, spoilt my mood for the rest of the day. Really something I didn’t need to dream about. Next week my full schedule begins, and Monday will have a four hour break. Not funny. I’m actually done with my readings for tomorrow’s tutorials; I’m amazed.

Tomorrow is a long day though, 8.30am all the way to 6.30pm with one one-hour break in between. That will be a stamina test. But it will also be my last of such Tuesdays. Next week onwards it will be a three-hour break instead.

I wonder what all this is about. Is it time to move on? Or, it is time to move on. God has made some things fall into place the last few days. Time to knock the door, and ask for it to open. Or maybe it’s time for me to open up my door again. I don’t know. But now I see another dimension, many of my prayers were answered, but the effect was the opposite of what I wanted. Yet, so many prayers were answered no, yet the effect was what I wanted.

That’s the mystery of it all. Spent about an hour earlier reading all the posts in my private journal, even the private ones that never made the blog. And I see something, something that I never saw before. Something is happening, but I don’t know what it is yet.

*edit: so as not to confuse anyone... the Pastor Aaron in the post refers to someone else... not Pastor Aaron from PMC"

170806

verses read: Psalm 94

Didn’t get up to jog, will try again tomorrow! Instead, I woke up at 2.30am in the morning with one of the worst stomach aches I’ve ever had. It wasn’t fun.

I’m tempted to take that last sentence “it wasn’t fun” and decompose it into pronoun and verb group and all; but I shan’t. Seems like after one month of English grammar lessons, I have forgotten how epsilon and delta look like. Occupational hazard.

Met someone today, someone I have wanted to meet since the events last year. “How do you overcome such pain and hurt”, I wanted to ask. Apparently even after two years, the pain can still be there. I’ve only heard one side of the story, the “happy” side. But the sad side, I never heard till a few weeks before, and now that I’ve met him, there seems to be some common bond.

160806

verses read: Psalm 93

Today was a pretty boring day. Nothing much happened at all. My day starts in the afternoon tomorrow for a change; going to try get up in the morning to jog. Hopefully my body won’t ache that badly after that. Unfortunately, the late day means I will be missing a very important meeting tomorrow. Well, who knows maybe this arrangement will be for the better, and perhaps that why I’m doing my course now rather than next year. Once again, God’s timing is just beyond our understanding.

150806

verses read: Psalm 92

Either I was too tired to hear my alarm this morning, or too tired to switch it one last night. Either way, the net result was the same, I woke up late. But, by late I mean 6.10am, as my usual wake up time is 5.30am, so I still got to Simei on time.

Long day in school today, very long day. Tuesdays are killer days for me, thank God it will only get better. Today’s mathematics lecture was really good, I won’t say inspiring, but I think my MSN nick says it all. English lecture was way too fast, couldn’t keep up with what she was saying. Educational Psychology wasn’t so bad today, dry but not as bad.

*some parts in my private journal*

I really hope the heavy rain today washed down all the soot and dust in the air, my throat and respiratory tract were being hammered from all sides. Hot drink, that works wonders.

140806

verses read: Psalm 91

I’m really tired, probably going to sleep soon after writing this. Had only about one and a half hours of sleep last night. Blame it on the five hour nap I had yesterday afternoon. So, I ended driving to school pretty much in a daze, needed help from the noise of Planetshaker’s latest album to keep me awake. Thank God I have a lift to school tomorrow.

The haze is really bad, a combination of 7^th month and forest fires. My throat is starting to act up, which cannot be good.

Returned to the gym after a week’s absence. A new mp3 player would really be helpful during my workouts. My 6230i’s 256MB RSMMC isn’t really much use. Comex is at the end of the month, hopefully there would be some good deals. I’m actually quite intrigued to find out how much the N93 is being priced at.

130806

verses read: Psalm 90

Psalm 90, the “infamous” Psalm, at least among my CG in VCF. But it is really a Psalm that is most scientific in nature! It really requires a lot of deep thinking to understand.

“Teach us O Lord to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” – Psalm 90:12

I can still remember so vividly the sermon preached at FoP 1999, the first FoP I attended, when the speaker preached from this verse. And he did it in such an interesting manner, as he literally “numbered his days”. And I do that every one of my birthdays now; I should be reaching 10,000 in about two and a half years.

The last few days have been fine, finished with the Bible Olympiad. The adults did the photohunt for the first time, hence their enthusiasm, compared to one of the youth teams! At least the BB team was in the overall lead till the Bible Quiz round! A lot of good feedback, unbeknownst to them, Elijah’s Trail was pretty much a rip-off!

The past two weeks in NIE have been hectic, and only half my classes have started, it will get much worse in the coming days. But well, it is a post-graduate course, so not unexpected, and I’m being paid to study, so what can be better! Have an assignment due in a few hours, but it is all printed and good to go, so no issue with that. But there will be more to come, including a monster 70% weightage term paper! Anyway, 7 modules is madness by any standard.

Have to say that I am enjoying the course despite the hectic schedule. The NIE lecturers sell their subjects very well and really are really inspiring to listen to. Will see how much of this can be put into practice come February.

MADNESS!!!!!

Was doing "research" for a mathematics assignement, when I came across the following question. Any takers... for the record, the answer is 0.49. The question is easy, for me that is. But the most efficient method to solve it involves something I learnt only in F MATHS! This question was taken from a PSLE assignment book!??!!



Here is the solution. You will need to observe how to split each fraction up, that's the key step. The remaining part is just a lot of cancellation.

030806

verses read: Psalm 83

*A bit lazy to post the whole thing... anyway... just know that I've been updating my journal and readings very consentiously, just no inspired to post them. *

010806

verses read: Psalm 80-81

It’s already August! This years has just passed by so quickly. School has begun in earnest and it’s tough, I’m already feeling the strain after just 2 days. Today was an exceptionally tiring day, but well, it was nonetheless quite inspiring.

Pulled my hamstring quite badly today. Doesn’t help that the NIE campus and the NTU campus are connected by a series of really long flights of stairs, and it sure doesn’t help that I’m carrying something like 5kg on my back. Gym is out for the rest of the week.

home-made mayo...

Well Stef... enjoy! Sorry Nat...another night post! Anyway, this one was taken from an episode of Kylie Kwong. Simple, and pretty easy to make. Yet to get the correct consistency though.

You will need:
One Egg Yolk
Lemon Juice
Salt
Olive Oil
And a lot of arm power

Seperate the yolk of one egg from the white. And juice one lemon. What I did was I ran the lemon juice through a sieve to remove the flesh and seeds and all; so that I'm left with just pure juice. Actually, half a lemon would work better.



Beat it up a bit and add some salt.



You will need to make an emulsion, for that, you will need a whisk. Slowly pour in the olive oil while whisking the whole mixture. You will really need to beat in a lot of air into the mixture to make it look like the picture below. And electric whisk would certainly help. Apparently, it can be beaten till it's as stiff as merangue, but I lack that kind of arm power.



You basically have a mayonaise. But, if you eat it on it's own, it will taste horrible; and I mean, REALLY HORRIBLE and SOUR!

What I do is to bake some chicken fillets, then use two forks to shred them as shown below. Then just pour the mayonaise in. Trust me... it will taste exactly like chicken mayo from Delifrance or something like that.

260607

verses read: Psalm 76

Received a nice SMS from a good friend yesterday, it really helped me a lot. And prayers do come true as I was able to sleep well last night.

Today, tried out this really power yogurt based curry recipe, it was fantastic! Will try the same recipe with fish someday.

Just came back from the NTUCF FoC, tomorrow will be another day. Last night of the camp, talent night, I doubt it will be as crazy as the VCF one, but it should be fun. Tomorrow, orientation games, not looking forward to that, bad back and all.

when two or three are gathered...

... add a fourth... and you get...



was taken at a VCF Science Faculty Gathering...ooops... hehehe... my tiles are pretty decent huh? Too bad I lost this hand... no money involved though...

But check out this lamp... interesting gift got any of your mahjong crazy friends... but watch out.. it costs something like $280!

250706

verses read: Psalm 75

Today is a rare day for me, it’s a free day. What makes things even better is that tomorrow is also a free day! Can spend some time at all the FGs and FoCs that are happening over the course of the day. Thank God, they are all in the same place.

Today, I will have to go down to NIE just to submit my results. That’s a real waste of petrol, but I don’t really have much of a choice. Didn’t find time to go down to Orchard yesterday, hopefully time will be a little more cooperative today.

Yesterday’s rehearsal was pretty good, but I’m obviously really rusty on the bass. My fingers hurt as well after three days of bass playing. My riffs are getting really slack as well, hopefully things will improve once the rhythm sets in.

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verses read: Psalm 70-74

Today is the start of my course in NIE. My timetable is heavy, it’s literally working hours, 8.30am to 4.30pm almost everyday. Exactly like work, and since I am actually being paid to study, I have to take leave in order to miss classes. Will need to do so in September.

It’s a long and (thankfully) lonely drive to school later; well, have a lot of new CDs to listen to. My iPod died, hopefully I will find time to go to the Apple Centre later to get it fixed, and find time to go to the gym before heading off for band practice at night. It’s a pity, it was a good chance to reunite 5 of 6 members of the BCE band, but only 2 of us will be there. It will be one of the more interesting gigs for sure.

Yesterday’s Psalm was a really appropriate Psalm to read, especially in light of all the “revelations” recently. And talking it all out with good friends yesterday really gave me the other perspective; one which I will hold on to. Letting go isn’t easy, but that has to come first as hard as that might be. Psalm 73 is such an often quoted Psalm, but reading the whole thing in its entirety made it all different.

“Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and me heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” - Psalm 73:25-26

rediscovering the call

Been a long time since I last updated this blog properly, was on a four week "Enhanced School Experience" at Temasek, so for the sake of the privacy of my students, I decided to journal all my thoughts offline. But well, it's all over now, so I can share a bit of what has happened.

I guess my call to go into teaching happened over quite a long time. Way back in Secondary School, I had teachers who really made me want to be like them. Especially my D&T teacher, he was really the best. Super cruel teacher, but will never forget what he taught. But all along I wanted to study engineering. Unfortuantely, or fortunately did badly for Physics at A levels, plus I scored double As for math at JC, so I dropped plans to do engineering and decided to teach. To cut a long story short, ended up going to NUS to read math, I really enjoyed that!

But even though teaching was always at the back of my mind, it never really till GAP camp that I realised that it was something more than just "what I wanted to do". God was calling me into service. On the last day of camp, I still remember Ps Jon praying for all the campers when he suddenly said, "Some of you, God is calling into full-time service, but for others, God needs you elsewhere, He needs you in the schools." That struck a raw nerve and I began to tear when I heard that.

Yet still, I didn't apply till the beginning of this year, that by itself is another long story. And so here I am, about to begin my course at NIE on Monday. But if anything the last four weeks has been to me, it has confirmed the call that was placed upon my life.

Going back to school was certainly a very anxious time for me. But as the days passed, things really got very much better, and I began to rediscover the call that God gave me two years ago.

Initially, I was a little disappointed that I was asked to teach a secondary one class. I had the mindset that as a honours graduate, I would be teaching at least upper secondary and most likely JC. But then as I began to talk to teachers, I began that teaching the upper levels was not what I would enjoy doing.

As one very experienced teacher told me, "it's a different burden". Teaching at JC levels is all about results, and the better upper secondary classes, was also about results. The burden was for the better the teachers with better classes was to produce the As for the school. That was an eye opener for me.

On the other hand taking the secondary one class that I had, a noisy but good (grades-wise) class, was certainly enjoyable. That was what I really wanted to do. Observing the rowdier classes also brought smiles to my face. Those classes were certainly more enjoyable to teach, and yes even the classes with disciplinary problems.

Honestly, it felt like Youth Ministry 7 days a week, and my prayer is that this is my mindset for the next four years, what happens after is up to the Lord to dictate again.

The door to return to my almar matar has opened wide. And I've been praying hard if I should write to the VP (who was a D&T teacher, but not the one who taught me... he graded me and gave me an A1, so no complains). And the Lord reminded me, a fulfilled vow will open many doors as promised. Two big doors opened in the last week, this was one. Not the kind of doors that I was expecting to be opened, but an opened door nontheless. It's up to me to step through.

We often think that God's Will is a one track thing. And indeed the Bible alludes to it being a "narrow path". But we forget God's grace. And I believe that in His abundant Grace, God's Will need not be a single narrow road, but He is so gracious that He can give us the choice of two or more narrow roads, both of which will glorify Him equally. If we hold on to His teachings and His Word. So perhaps, a fork in the road has appeared, and God tells me there is a choice, it's up to me to choose.

The Lord gave. The Lord took away... but He gave again.

Ingenium, Deligentia, Dexteritas

Just saw a posting on the NIE portal...

"Vacancy available at Tanjong Katong Secondary School"

My heart skipped a beat. Reading the details however stated clearly that they need someone who is graduating in November/Decmeber this year. I've a year to go.

This door has been opened, the chance may not come again. Should I step through it?

the solution...

Decided to humour Clayton a little. But on a more serious note, you don't need calculus to solve it. Besides, it's an E-math question!!!

But on an even more serious note, this topic is known as Arithmetic and Geometric Progression (APGP), it used to be in the A-math syllabus, but was removed and placed in the C-math (now H2 math) syllabus. To me, not a good choice, as this topic is extremely important in Calculus, especially since the idea of Riemann Integration is still taught at H2 level. If I had my way, relative velocity would go, and this would be in A-math. But then, I don't have my way.

Anyway, here is my solution, which I did find on Saturday night itself. Pretty straight forward, you will need to know a few formulas (involving sigma notation) to simplify the solution to it's final form.

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verses read: Psalm 56

Realised that I’ve not updated my journal for many days, well, the Bible reading is still moving forward anyway. Not skipping a day, almost one year already. And I must say it has been refreshing to do this.

Second half of the year has arrived, things will kick into a different gear, exam gear. And for once, I’m not on the receiving end of it. Now on the marking end. School has been excellent, the past week has really been good. But well, the honeymoon is going to end soon and the real work is going to start. The chocolate bar at Plaza Singapura was really huge; but it sure didn’t look edible! It was lacquered to prevent it from rotting or melting.

Did something today that I’ve never done by myself before; went shopping for clothes. I never realised it was so tiring! But anyway, Great Singapore Sale, so the shirts were quite cheap. Anyway, today was a matter of necessity, ran out of proper shirts to wear to school after just one week! Looks like I will have to do something similar again next year, hopefully I will be able to fit into more shirts by then!

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verses read: Psalm 49

Almost one third through the book; should take a few more months though. But slow and steady is good compared to read a lot and stop halfway.

The past two days in school has been good. And to some extent pretty enjoyable, but the challenge has not yet come, that will come in two weeks time.

*rest of this post is in the my private journal*

Your Grace is enough

Great is Your faithfulness O God
You wrestles with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters into mercy
And nothing can keep us apart

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise O God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enouhg for me

Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along

Your grace is enough
Heaven reaching down to us
Your grace is enough for me
God I sing Your grace is enough
I'm covered in Your love
Your grace is enough for me

(C) Chris Tomlin

Tomorrow is going to be a major milestone in my life. For all the horror stories I've heard in the last two days, I will still persevere. And to some extent I am looking forward to all this.

Will most likely be temporarily stop all my postings for privacy reasons until after my school experience. Might still post recipes though.

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verses read: Psalm 46

What a beautiful Psalm to read at a time like this. A calm inducing Psalm, even though war and destruction seems to be around the corner. Tried out the techniques I learnt at the TPP on the BB guys at Springfield today, and amazingly, it worked! Albeit, it was a much smaller group, and they are supposed to be a disciplined bunch, so I guess I will have to scale up everything come Monday.

What a beautiful Psalm to read, especially on this day. Twenty fourth of June, two four six, easy to remember, but at times, I rather forget. But the lessons of the last year has proved very invaluable to me. At least, I’ve begun to understand that “God’s Will” isn’t the end of all things.

How many times have I thought that God’s Will will always prevail no matter what, I now know that I am actually very wrong. God’s Will is good and pleasing, but yet, God’s Will is no match to man’s free will. We have been given freedom, and because of that, we can and many times choose to defy God. And I guess, no one has really told me what to do after that when that happens. But at least, now I know that there is something else more magnificent than God’s Will.

The past year has been filled with the highest of high, to the deepest of ocean valleys for me. Perhaps that was why the very first song I sang when I returned to worship leading this year was indescribable. Perhaps that is why I’ve learnt the hard way that all those books you read about kissing dating goodbye and Choosing God’s Best are pretty one sided.

So what happens when you end up with someone who is not of God’s will, or more likely what happens when you break those rules? At one of the lowest moments last December, God did send someone, someone wise who told me that without commitment in a relationship; God’s Will is pretty useless. And it was only after so many months of prayer that I’ve learnt how to deal with those mistakes.

Beyond God’s Will, there is something called God’s grace. It was so simple, yet it eluded me for so long. For that is the place where salvation had its origin, the very beginning of things.

For paper hearts that were never made
For beautiful plans that were never laid
For best friends that never talk
For a heart, like a rose on a broken stalk
For love in a buried container
For keys lost, I cannot remember
For seeing the Lord close the door
For moving too fast to things in store
For a time to mark one year
For a blessing that once was near
For trying to find my way again
For struggling with the lingering pain
For when I didn’t play the part
For when God said, “Don’t give up!”
For finding of His Will within
For seeing the depth of sin
For the times I defied His Will
For eating it’s bitter pill
I’ve found my way again, by seeing His face
And by beholding the glory of His Grace

The time has finally come, it is upon me. Just slightly over one more day, and I will move on into where the Lord has called. It’s going to be tough, people have been pouring cold water on my head, but I go into this without illusions of grandeur. I’ve slacked too much this year, I’ve given my past teacher too much headache, and so, it’s time to pay my dues. Exciting, yet sobering.

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verses read: Psalm 43

Well, got my school posting. Monday will be very interesting indeed. It’s interesting to note that all my schools start with the same letter. All I will say is that at least I will have the luxury of getting up a little later the next four weeks, after that it will be all the way back to NIE again. Exciting, yet somehow, there is some strange and profound sense of loss.

Feeling a bit sick all of a sudden, I think it’s the swim I had today. The water was a bit “green”. Not sure if it was too much chlorine or a lack of it, or if it was rain water that the filters had not yet processed. Not good on the third day of work.

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verses read: Psalm 41

First day at “work”, all I did was queue up for my registration card, well, I’m paid quite well per hour, at least better than NS. Tomorrow will be my last official free day ever, then life gets quite exciting! Still haven’t gotten my school posting though.

Tried a bus ride home after matriculation, it was a mistake. Straight bus from Boon Lay to Bedok, but it took me two hours to get from bus interchange to my front door, wasn’t fun, especially after the long bus rides last week! Won’t do that again, but at least now there might be a possibility of a PMC-NTU car pool, that would save a bit of money.

Went to buy an Additional Mathematics ten year series, a five year series rather, it was just the last five years, November papers, new syllabus. Completed last year’s November paper, I’m quite disappointed honestly, took me almost one and a half hours to complete each of the papers, I should be much faster, just not used to looking at numbers anymore, I probably used the calculator more times today than in my whole NUS life. Both papers full marks, but just too slow, considering that I completed my C Math paper one in an hour during the A levels. Will need more practice to settle my SMPT in one try. Have to say that last year’s paper’s relative velocity question was quite tricky, took me a while to figure it out.

I’m quite sad at the new syllabus, so many important topics have now been shifted to A levels instead, stuff like APGP and double angle formulae. The last four years didn’t even feature a trigonometry identity proving question; maybe it is too mechanical. Instead, not very interesting topics like the dreaded relative velocity have been added in, deep in concept, but hardly appreciable at O levels; unless you wish to do nautical studies or something like that.

Will need to brush up on the new A level syllabus as well soon. I have to say that the new H3 syllabus is impressive; a lot of level 3000 mathematics stuff, will probably see a change in the NUS mathematics syllabus soon due to this.

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verses read: Psalm 35

Today was the first day in the chapel. But I don’t think I will write about that, after all, I’ve got the meeting recordings to remind me.

Want to write about the show “Contact”. It really is one of my top favourite shows of all time. I really enjoy watching it over and over again, mathematical yet theological, logical yet inspirational, explores science, yet explores faith. Very well written, I must buy the book. But it would probably be a tough read.

I would really like to know what happens if one day, a hardcore atheistic scientist were to have a scientific experience the likes of what was shown in the film; and have no evidence or proof to back it up. After all, science and mathematics are built up from empirical evidence and proofs. I like the way such an experience was portrayed in the movie, very akin to what we sometimes call a “religious experience”.

Like when we come to worship and we begin to cry, we know that we are not alone, we are created by God, we somehow know that there is a God. But yet, say all we want, we cannot prove His existence; that’s why it’s called faith.

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verses read: Psalm 33

Tomorrow is going to be a long day, have to sign the TTA in the morning, followed by Bible Olympiad meeting in church in the afternoon, One Voice leaders meeting and finally One Voice massive rehearsal at night. And it doesn’t stop there, the next day will be a milestone for YMPACT. One that some of us have waited for for a long time.

Was having a strange thought as I drove to church this evening, when I passed Downtown East. It occurred to me that it was two years since Synerg!z 2004, the one where I got quite a lot of weird looks as I wasn’t alone. Well, memories, brought a smile to my face, the first genuine one is many years and one that came when my thoughts were lost in hopelessness again. I wonder if she will be at MOE tomorrow, it would really be interesting.

Pasta Sauce

As promised, here is the recipe. I took this while actually cooking the sauce for tonight's fellowship dinner. Here is what you need:

Ingredients:
Garlic, Onion, Carrot, Celery (chopped finely)
Bacon
Minced Beef (I used 1kg)
Minced Pork (1/4 kg)
Canned tomatoes
Tomato Sauce
Mushrooms
Some herbs

Believe it or not, I did not use add any oil or salt other that what is found in the ingredients above. But well, there are other tricks.



Begin by frying the bacon until the oil comes out. The bacon provides all the salt and oil you will need for the whole sauce.



When there is some oil from the bacon, add the garlic, onion, carrots and celery. Cook until some of the vegetable juices has come out. Add some water to help this along.



When the vegetables are about 75% of their original size add the mushrooms and cook until everything soft. Add some herbs at this stage, oregano, mixed Italian herbs and tarragon was what I added.



Add the meat cook until the meat has browned. Notice that the volume of the ingredients has not changed. Everything should "shrink".



Add the tomatoes and tomato sauce. Instead of canned tomatoes, you can use fresh tomatoes. But you will have to buy the really expensive deep red roma tomatoes, which cost something like a dollar each. And you will have to buy a lot and de-skin it before using, so it's quite a hassle.



No extra salt or oil added. All the salt and oil came mainly from the bacon and the canned tomatoes and tomato sauce. If you choose to use fresh tomatoes, you will definately need to add some salt, and even some sugar get rid of the bitter taste.

Enjoy!

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verses read: Psalm 25

Finally got through the NUS website to order my academic gown, that’s after three days of trying! Now can set my mind at ease a bit more. 19 more days before I matriculate into NIE, will be quite something. Had a really good dinner last night! My stomach is really upside down now, not had such oily food in such a long time!

Yesterday’s meeting went well, I was looking forward to it for a variety of reasons. But there was a meeting within a meeting and after that, I really didn’t know what else to do. This has not happened once, but three times, each time under similar circumstances, and each time the message is the same. Don’t give up, don’t lose hope. Still have five more weeks to go before I collect my degree scroll. Can a life be changed within that amount of time? I’m quite sure it can.

Dear Lord, You give hope when I have none left. You know the impossible when my mind can only comprehend what is the obvious. You give love when there is none left to give. You make light, when the darkness surrounds. So Lord, this matter is in your hands, I’m done with the second guessing and the giving up, I will wait upon Your time so that I may see what is in store for me at the end of all this. So teach me to have the patience to wait upon You and Your plans. Amen.

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verses read: Psalm 24

Well, I think I should finally put a post on my blog. The last few entries just too political to put online, would probably be cautioned by the ISD if I had.

Well, tonight’s the big meeting. It’s an honour indeed to be part of this whole event, one that can shape the direction of worship in Singapore, it was something that I prayed for more than 6 years ago, when I was asked to dream big. And yes, a big dream is coming true.

I wonder if the other dreams that I have been having lately will come true. They have all been about Tanjong Katong Secondary School, or Tampines Junior College or Tao Nan School. Maybe I will be posted back to one of my almar matars. Well, I will know in three weeks time. A big part of my wishes to be posted back to one of these schools, but a larger part rather be posted to one of the more obscure neighbourhood schools. That’s where the real work is.

Shot an arrow at myself yesterday night. But it is something that I don’t mind doing for yet another year. An opportunity to work with another batch of sec 3s. It will be interesting, this batch would be exactly ten years younger than me, would be interesting to see what and how they think.

Mathematics Honours gathering, I really wonder what that would be like. I would really not mind going for it, but will be away at Church camp, so won’t be able to make it. It will be quite interesting indeed to see how nerdy the place is! But my guess is that I will be seeing quite a few of them in NIE.

Done with a whole brand new look to the One Voice handbook, even more updated than the version sent out to everyone yesterday. Will publish it once the team leaders approve of it. The format looks a lot better now, though it would be difficult for some to read! But at least I will be saving a lot of paper with this new format.

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verses read: Psalm 21

Just got back from badminton. Really tired now! I’m pretty sure that when I wake up tomorrow morning, it’s going to be really bad!

Met up with the maths guys yesterday, some of them at least, it strange how the topics change with each stage of life. Once upon a time it was numbers after numbers, module codes after module codes, now it’s salaries and jobs. I wonder when will it be buying flats, getting married, which school to send our children to…

Life just passes so fast. In less than three weeks I will begin a new phase of life, really just want to start afresh and leave the pain of the past two years behind. I guess I will have to get used to standing in front of the class form now on.

There is still band practice tonight. Fitting. I was the first to lead at the MPH, and now I will be the last as well. This will also be one of the last times that I will be leading. I think the countdown can begin soon.

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verses read: Psalms 20

Good Psalm to read, especially after yesterday. Why does this always happen like this? Well, just going to keep moving on, and trust in the Name of the Lord.

I have officially graduated. Second lower honours, my results were expected, no surprises; thankfully. Well, have another three more weeks before matriculation into NIE and the ESE. I really wonder which school I will be posted to, I really hope Springfield Secondary, that would eliminate the whole conflict of interest problem.

Going to clear up my room, stuff that needs to be thrown out has to go, and going to as much of my notes as possible. All except maybe the mathematics ones, I will need those eventually. I also need to prepare for my sharing session with the BB/GB tomorrow! Last minute self-arrow!

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verses read: Psalm 19

Been a while since I updated my journal. After returning from USA, been trying to shift my body clock to wake up early in the morning and sleep early at night. Been pretty successful so far. So it’s early again, so most of my entries from now on will be about the previous day rather than the day that has just passed. More awake as well.

Last few days have been pretty uneventful, watched Da Vinci code on Monday, it’s quite bad. Bought a metronome to help me keep time, been practicing scales quite relentlessly last few days. Good training though. Got the TTA a few days back, read through the whole stack of documents. Quite daunting. But well, at least I have a job, if you can consider it as such. Three more weeks to go.

Today is results day. Wonder what I will be getting, or if I will get honours at all. Don’t think that would be a problem. Honours would mean an immediate pay rise though. Wonder what class it will be. Then again, won’t really deviate much.

dreaming of eternity

When I preached about heaven a few weeks ago, I really wonder how far I can push that concept. I first came face to face with the question of "am I going to heaven" when I was in my membership class in 1999. What will it be like?

I dreamed I went to heaven, and you were there with me. We walked upon the streets of gold and beside the crystal sea. We heard the angels singing...

It's such a beautiful image of what heaven will be like isn't it? Not just that, it is really the image that the Bible paints, streets of gold, the river of life that is as clear as crystal and everyone, every angel singing praises to God.

Actually sounds kind of boring to me. But in the last few months, I've been thinking about this quite a bit. And I think, that even as we spend eternity worshipping the Lord, I would like to think that there will be opportunities to meet, and "catch up" with those whom we have lost contact with and are in heaven as well.

I really like the image that the above song paints. While it may not be accurate, I think God will be so loving and gracious to allow me to speak to friends who I would have lost contact with, or with friends who would go before me, or after me.

Tonight, I sang "Declare His Glory" for the last time as an official member of the VCF. I don't know if I will ever sing it again. I don't if I will ever see the people whom I've met and come to know and love in VCF ever again. I'm sure I've seen some of them for the last time tonight.

And I wonder how many more "last times" I've had in the past few weeks. But I will dream of eternity. And I will see them all there again. And we can walk by the crystal sea, and maybe even sit by it's shore and have all the time in heaven to catch up.

Little things that you had done, sacrifices made. Unnoticed on the earth, in heaven now proclaimed. I know that in heaven you are not supposed to cry, but I am almost sure there were tears in your eyes. As Jesus took your hand and you stood before the Lord, He said, "My child, look around you, great is your reward".

God is good, all the time!
All the time, God is good!

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verses read: Psalms 2

This is a very appropriate passage in light of the end of the election yesterday. And well, the lawsuits and detentions have begun; as expected. Managed to vote, I hope the next election, I will have a choice again. But in light of the results here in East Coast, I wonder if in the next election I will end up in Tampines or Marine Parade GRC.

I am super sleepy now, I realized that I’ve only had about seven hours of sleep in the last 48 hours due to the wedding and the election. Stayed up last night to watch the results, and after that to print my journal and the scores for the songs today. In all, I got exactly three hours of sleep last night, because I snoozed only thrice rather than my usual ten times. Was so sleepy I had trouble leading worship this morning; my fingers could not even move in synch with my mouth.

Today was a marathon day in church, from 8am to 8pm. The accountability session with Pastor Aaron was really good for the soul today. It was more like a counseling session if you ask me. But then, I really needed to say what I had to say and hope that others will keep me in prayer as I face tomorrow.

*rest of this post is in my private journal*