Been a long time since I last updated this blog properly, was on a four week "Enhanced School Experience" at Temasek, so for the sake of the privacy of my students, I decided to journal all my thoughts offline. But well, it's all over now, so I can share a bit of what has happened.
I guess my call to go into teaching happened over quite a long time. Way back in Secondary School, I had teachers who really made me want to be like them. Especially my D&T teacher, he was really the best. Super cruel teacher, but will never forget what he taught. But all along I wanted to study engineering. Unfortuantely, or fortunately did badly for Physics at A levels, plus I scored double As for math at JC, so I dropped plans to do engineering and decided to teach. To cut a long story short, ended up going to NUS to read math, I really enjoyed that!
But even though teaching was always at the back of my mind, it never really till GAP camp that I realised that it was something more than just "what I wanted to do". God was calling me into service. On the last day of camp, I still remember Ps Jon praying for all the campers when he suddenly said, "Some of you, God is calling into full-time service, but for others, God needs you elsewhere, He needs you in the schools." That struck a raw nerve and I began to tear when I heard that.
Yet still, I didn't apply till the beginning of this year, that by itself is another long story. And so here I am, about to begin my course at NIE on Monday. But if anything the last four weeks has been to me, it has confirmed the call that was placed upon my life.
Going back to school was certainly a very anxious time for me. But as the days passed, things really got very much better, and I began to rediscover the call that God gave me two years ago.
Initially, I was a little disappointed that I was asked to teach a secondary one class. I had the mindset that as a honours graduate, I would be teaching at least upper secondary and most likely JC. But then as I began to talk to teachers, I began that teaching the upper levels was not what I would enjoy doing.
As one very experienced teacher told me, "it's a different burden". Teaching at JC levels is all about results, and the better upper secondary classes, was also about results. The burden was for the better the teachers with better classes was to produce the As for the school. That was an eye opener for me.
On the other hand taking the secondary one class that I had, a noisy but good (grades-wise) class, was certainly enjoyable. That was what I really wanted to do. Observing the rowdier classes also brought smiles to my face. Those classes were certainly more enjoyable to teach, and yes even the classes with disciplinary problems.
Honestly, it felt like Youth Ministry 7 days a week, and my prayer is that this is my mindset for the next four years, what happens after is up to the Lord to dictate again.
The door to return to my almar matar has opened wide. And I've been praying hard if I should write to the VP (who was a D&T teacher, but not the one who taught me... he graded me and gave me an A1, so no complains). And the Lord reminded me, a fulfilled vow will open many doors as promised. Two big doors opened in the last week, this was one. Not the kind of doors that I was expecting to be opened, but an opened door nontheless. It's up to me to step through.
We often think that God's Will is a one track thing. And indeed the Bible alludes to it being a "narrow path". But we forget God's grace. And I believe that in His abundant Grace, God's Will need not be a single narrow road, but He is so gracious that He can give us the choice of two or more narrow roads, both of which will glorify Him equally. If we hold on to His teachings and His Word. So perhaps, a fork in the road has appeared, and God tells me there is a choice, it's up to me to choose.
The Lord gave. The Lord took away... but He gave again.
