I've not felt this happy and contented for 3 months. 3 months to the day in fact! I wish the happiness was mine. I wish the happiness would last forever; but I know it won't. But that wont' stop me from being happy at the moment.
A dear friend had a strange prayer request of me. Well, maybe not so strange; just strange that I'm finally reaching the age in which I actually have friends who ask "the question". But well; I'm really happy for him! So very happy!
And the reality of age is fast starting to creep up on me. When friends ask you to pray such prayers for them, when you start receiving pink envelopes in your mail box, when you celebrate love with everyone; you know you are old.
Love always will find a way. A way to forgive even the most grvious hurts. A way to heal the most painful wounds. So, I guess after searching for answers, I return back to the beginning; where the answer always was. A simple promise I made 7 months ago; to honour love no matter where it took me. And it has taken me very far indeed; from nice hgh lofts to dark lightless valleys. But love will find a way.
Still stuck in the valley. But I see maybe some light up ahead. Chinese New Year is going to come soon, and it's going to end just as fast as it came. Well, that's the signal for me; for me to come out of this time of retreat. This time of spending time away from ministry.
Exciting work has been cut out for me. Been given the priviledge of a lifetime to make a difference in the Church. Not PMC, but the Church as a whole. What will life after that hold for me? I don't know. Only God knows, but I will follow His way. I know He has something in store, a door for me to knock open. Will it be the same door? Maybe not.
But like what another dear friend told me; God's will alone might not be enough. If the love and commitment is not reciprocated; so what? It's still doomed to failure. That's was a whole new paradigm for me.
I hold on to love now. Not just the same promise that I made 7 months ago; that and something else now. Age is catching up on me. I pray that someday soon I will be able to make that same prayer request to my friend. Love will find a way to do so.
*post dated*
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